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I'm a Daughter. Semi-therefather. Lost Mom. Stress Crushing

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well basically school is about to start.
i need "back to school" stuff.

school supplies. jeans. shoes.

i've been recently abandoned by my mother. kicked me to my father's who i haven't really known and has another fam. he's really strict and asian... and spoils his other two kids that he has with his new wife.
let's just say i get the shittiest room in the house.. and i don't get a lot ... compared to the other kids... *cough*
it's hard to watch when you see your stepmom blowin a couple of Gs and when you need a hair cut your dad says he's empty pocketed and i gotta wait a couple of months..
i don't get make up, hair did, shopping, i don't get to go buy tampons and hair spray and i don't even get to go out ...whenever i look remotely like a girl, my dad freaks out. he starts saying insane things, looking at me like i'm a prositute... i'm always stuck wearing baggy clothes and pulling my hair up... and no make up no accessories... i don't even feel like a girl..
well let's cut to the chase.
i need back to school stuff and can't seem to ask him. he doesn't even provide the little things. i honestly don't need the stress right after my mom and i made contact after 2 weeks ( she hasn't hung out with me in 7 months, before that we haven't talked in a year.)
who had made an extended invitation to "hang out" with her.. which translates to hanging out with her prick boyfriend's little bro because he just came to US to visit and has no friends. she just uses me.
she never even calls to check up.. or make sure i'm doing ok living with my father. she never stands up for me. always saying harsh things. she didn't even care that i didn't want to accept it.

this is too much stress for a 16 year old. i can't handle losing my mother and then dealing with someone whose suppose to be my father then dealing with the sneeky devil siblings and my insane psychotic mental-facility needed step mom.

how can i start anothe r year of high school with this stress... takin up extra classes on the weekends at the college to catch up... i can't even ask my own father for things i need.. he's so insensitive to me beign a kid and is soo pressurign on education and focused on it that he says hurtful things like he doesn't give a damn how i feel.. that i need no friends.. or outside contact.. just my book.. HELL, i dont even got a family.
i'm gonna break soon.
i can't find the courage to stand up to him.. i can't understand why i'm so afraid..
help.

PLEASE...
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replied December 12th, 2007
Just try to think of happy things. Like, the day when you graduate, and can get out of this mess on your own. Yep, I know it's hard. You are too young to be going through this junk. Life is life though, you have to deal with the hand your given. I'd say relax, and make the best out of it. Though I am sorry that you can't even get your basic needs, or the fact you can't even make yourself look/feel beautiful. Your picture proves that your beautiful though!

There's probably nothing you could do or say to him to make him realize what he's doing. He's stuck in a fantasy with this wife, and 2 OTHER kids. He's just pushing you aside like something extra, they he'll grab up one day, and realize that he actually NEEDED it. I really hope things can work out for you, you deserve to be happy, and joyful. Please, just hang on, and don't do anything dumb. Lots of HUGS!
-Andrew
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replied January 9th, 2008
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andrewcorbin20 wrote:
Just try to think of happy things. Like, the day when you graduate, and can get out of this mess on your own. Yep, I know it's hard. You are too young to be going through this junk. Life is life though, you have to deal with the hand your given. I'd say relax, and make the best out of it. Though I am sorry that you can't even get your basic needs, or the fact you can't even make yourself look/feel beautiful. Your picture proves that your beautiful though!

There's probably nothing you could do or say to him to make him realize what he's doing. He's stuck in a fantasy with this wife, and 2 OTHER kids. He's just pushing you aside like something extra, they he'll grab up one day, and realize that he actually NEEDED it. I really hope things can work out for you, you deserve to be happy, and joyful. Please, just hang on, and don't do anything dumb. Lots of HUGS!
-Andrew


thanks so much; you're very kind. i wish to write more and get more advice but it's late now and i got work. so i'll try my best to hit you up later.
thank you.
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