Hi folks, I posted in the Bipolar forum but thought there sould be some good info here. I'd like to get some feedback from folks regarding BP disorder and anxiety. Specifically I'd like to know what kind of actions or behaviors are exhibited on the depressed end of the scale. My husband is bipolar unspecified however anxiety has also been diagnosed. During the current depressed cycle he has become totally detached/unemotional, completely avoiding me as well as family and friends. He is in flight mode, living in a hotel. In a recent conversation he says he can't come home due to the anxiety and he wants to focus on the things he can control in his life, his job...he is a workaholic and always hides behind work when depressed. Of course I want to reach out and choke him, my patience just gone, but I understand (I think) why he is acting in this manner. He is convinced he is capable of making good decisions and says he doesn't think he is that depressed. When I point out certain actions he retracts a bit but only for a second. I know, does no good to try and point out the rational right now, I just can't help myself. He is convinced that he is just making change in his life an this is who he is. Ok, known the guy for over 24 years...it ain't him. I predicted the current mood 4 months ago as the 2 companies he is engaged in were ramping up at the same time. Tremendous work load and stress. Add to that the fact that he has been unable to quit current job due to a commitment and the other company is desperate for him to come aboard full time. On a personal note we have had all the ugliness that can occur from the mania but were making good headway in the fall til about March. Things started getting worse when work stress increased.
He is on medication but just had depakote added about a month ago. He does see his pdoc but isn't great at making that appointment a priority over work.

Would really like to hear everyone's experiences. I find the information a life saver. Thanks!
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replied September 15th, 2008
Im Bi-Polar
On the down end of the scale one usually feels absolutely lethargic, depressed, essentially the opposite of a manic high. I have both panic attacks and Bi-Polar disorder. It's very very difficult, especially when it's so tempting to self medicate. I agree with your assumption that your friend is focusing on what he can control rather than his anxiety which is free-floating. I managed to go through 4 years at a private high school, on the varsity football team and graduated with honors. However the older I get the harder it seems to deal with the emotional swings. I'm 18 now and I'm STILL in the early stages of "treatment". The only advice I can ever offer people with Bi Polar disorder is try, TRY, to be patient with the medication end of it. It's a total trial and error, which sucks.

Hope your friends better by now.
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replied September 15th, 2008
Hi Manic,

I was surprised to get a note in my email that someone had replied (I posted awhile ago). Thanks for the response. Alas, mine is not a happy ending. He never returned as he began another affair. We are now divorced and to be honest I have no idea on his status beyond feedback from friends that have run into him and he acting like he doesn't know who they are (not surprising). My response a lot of time is that he is a bad poster child for BP. His behavior amplifies negative stereo types. I know that sounds awful but I have friends that have BP disorder including my best friend, and they have all busted their hump to manage the BP to the best of their ability...proof that the beast can be managed and life can be good. It wasn't easy for them...each has a story and some definitely have some serious war wounds but dang they were able to find something that worked, just wish my husband had. Good luck to you...take care of yourself. Honestly its all about "you" and the things you need to have a great life. Whether its meds, therapy, workingout, music or making sure you get your 8's everynight, do whats best for your health!
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