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Why Do You Cut? (Page 1)

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Just would like to know a little bit of everyone here. Personal stories. If you overcame it and how. What are your reasonings behind why you cut?
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replied August 12th, 2007
Re: Why Do You Cut?
Hi, about 3 yrs ago I started cutting and I used to cut alot. Everytime I felt upset about something I couldnt take the pressure within myself. About a year ago I eased up alot. And about 6 months ago I told myself that I will be strong and save my body & not cut , and what is the point of cutting - if cutting would NOT change any situation. Recently I have cut only like twice - and when I asked myself why are you doing this if it wont change anything and the answer that
I got (from myself) was that it will relieve some pressure from ME (and althought it does this, it does keep me being weak)
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replied August 12th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
thanks for sharing, i am the same way, when i got really upset over things i ended up cutting to releive the emotions. I was never an open person to share my feelings with people and i did this rather then talk to friends or family when i got upset, luckily i havent been ina situation where im really upset and feel the need to cut. I do alot better when im taking antidepressants as well, wich i currently got back on a few mths ago, but thats cuz i went to the drs for my anxiety and told them i was on antidepressants before for depression so she gave it back to me. So so far i am doing quite good.
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replied September 4th, 2007
Hey,
Why do i cut? It all started because of my family background and some things I have been through. I grew up with my father as a drug addict and absolutely no peace in the house, police visits and late night drives to find my father was routine. Along with screaming and throwing things. I always had to deal with things like an adult even though i was just a little girl. I was the one to calm my parents down when they fought, I was the one who had to comfort my brother, and take care of him. So therefore (along with family history of anxiety and depression) I develop anxiety. One day the stress just got too much and I knew a few people who cut themselves to relieve it. So I tried it. From there on out it got worse and I used it as a release. Then from there it soon became an addiction. Not only would i cut to release pain but i would cut for no reason. Even on a good day I felt the need. And from there i had to cut deeper and see how far I could go. I haven't threatened my life with it yet....or at least not with cutting (I've tried other things) but i fear everyday that it will only get worse.....the only thing that subsides the fear? cutting! Or at least for the moment. I'm afraid its just one vicious cycle.
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replied September 28th, 2007
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i used to cut because:
a: i couldn't understand my emotional pain and i wanted to release it in a way i could understand. "my arm hurts because i cut it with a razor."
b: (no joke) I just felt like it.
c: I wanted to "get back" at people by freaking them out.

fortunately now i have a better outlook on life and love. I would never hurt another person like that so therefore why should i do it to myself? Simple as pie, really.
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replied October 8th, 2007
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i was different i cut for dicipline it was like hey so your gonna say something stupid? well you will regret it later....
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replied October 9th, 2007
I cut for about a year, I reached a peak with I did so over 500 times in about a 4 hour period... I did it for the blood, the release... partially out of boredom, but mostly out of rejection... at that point in my life I had been rejected by everyone around me. I felt unwanted and unloved. So I turned on myself, to make myself look more ugly... Though I realized that there is love for everyone. And my girlfriend makes me strong now. I stoped for her, and have never really looked back... Well becides thinking about some profesional Scarification (like a tattoo)
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replied October 29th, 2007
I guess I started... two years ago? Back then it was just scratching myself or heating bits of metal and pushing them into my skin, just as a release for when I felt overwhelming emotions. After a while a friend of mine, who's always been the one person who could get through to me, took me aside and told me that I had to take care of myself, and that just trying wasn't good enough. So I stopped for months, and then there was always that morbid curiosity that made me want to do it every time I felt hurt, or when I couldn't handle the way life was going.. but I held out and I'd just do it once every few months or so, and then about two months ago life began to spiral downwards and where I was an emotional wreck before, I started to not feel anything.. sadness, happiness, it all disappeared and I just started doing it again, doing it badly, for no specific reason, every day - 10 or more a day, in school, in the washroom, in my room, on the couch every night, and I don't know how to stop at this point.. I haven't gone too far yet, but I'm afraid if those emotions ever come back too strong that I could go too far =/ I want to stop so badly.. its destroying my life -- and yet I've gotten rid of 6 razors, 2 exacto knives, and I still find things, I still carry a razor.. and as soon as I see it I think one more wont hurt. And on nights like last night, one more turns into 25 more -____-
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replied November 2nd, 2007
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I do it to punish myself, mainly. If I do something wrong, or stupid, I go into the bathroom & start cutting. I suppose it's also due to low self-esteem, same as starving myself. I hate my body, & cutting is my way of punishing myself for not getting rid of this fat.
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replied November 4th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
i was the same way zanny, when i was anorexic and bulimic, i cut to punish myself for eating etc. Sometimes i m iss the eating disorder, i hate being fat. I havent cut in like 2 mths now. last time was over eating to much. blah.
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replied November 4th, 2007
I did it in the past because I wanted to. I liked having cuts on my body. I'm not sure why. It made me feel better but I didn't do it because I was so depressed. I still wonder, did I do it from depression or did I subconsciously think it made me feel better(which it did).

It seemed fun, it was fun, I liked bleeding, I liked the scars, I felt better aftwards. And I didn't cry or contemplate suicide, but I wasn't one of those people who love cutting themselves for the fun of it. (E.X. This Guy ----> http://www.bmezine.com/ritual/A40901/ritwa tch.html
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replied November 5th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
I used to do it years ago. I started because I was really depressed and couldn't think of ways to cope with the pain. First I started with tiny cuts, just using safety pins and the edge of scissors. As time went on, I moved onto exacto knives and other things that produced much deeper cuts.

I loved to watch myself bleed. It just soothed me and made my soul feel so much more complete. I did it on my arms, belly, chest, legs, wrists...just about everywhere, but only places I could cover up (tshirts, pants, wrist bands). I didn't want anybody to see because I was ashamed of it.

My father was an extreme alcoholic, so I did something kind of stupid. He was trying to recover, and I gave myself the mentality of "I will only cut when he drinks. When he fails his addiction, that means I can too".

Eventually I realized that his addiction should have nothing to do with mine, and just because he fails doesn't mean that I had to fail too. Time went on, and with the help of friends and family I started to do it less and less. My boyfriend ended up helping me to stop all together, and now I've been cut free for over a year. Sometimes I miss it, but my life is much better off without it. I used to be so bad to the point where I carried around an exacto knife with me in my wallet/purse everywhere I went. It's such a relief to know I can rely on other things to make me feel better.
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replied November 5th, 2007
Glad to hear PenguinsRus
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replied November 5th, 2007
I started cutting 3 years ago in 8th grade. It started kind of weird for me. My mom and I get in a really bad fight and of course, I was upset, so I started hitting myself until I got bruises because I was seriously planning on blaming her for them. Anyways, every time after that, I just kept hitting myself because of the relief I got from it. As it goes, after a while, bruises weren't enough. That's when I actually started cutting, and you know what; it felt amazing. The first time I did it, I felt so much relief and such a burden was lifted from me. Since then, that has been my release in every bad situation. I know that I have that sort of release, so I use it. Now that things have gotten more complicated for me, it's become more of a way to feel some sort of emotion. My depression has become more of me just being devoid of feeling and emotion, so that really opens up a wave of feeling for me.

Even after the cuts were done and healing, I could look at them and remind myself of the pain I'm dealing with. Realizing the pain and what it's causing me to do to myself at least lets me feel something, if only for a minute.
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replied November 7th, 2007
Experienced User
I haven't cut in awhile, but I used to do it for the pain. I have terrible phobias and anxiety. I'm scared to death of germs and of getting sick. If there was ever a time that I thought I was "exposed" to some kind of sickness, I would start to panic, and anxiety would take over my whole body. I would go into the bathroom and cut to feel something other then fear. (only on my left arm) To me, the pain felt better then being scared.

One night, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom and caught me. It looked worse then it was, as I never stopped the bleeding until I was done cutting. I would just let it run down my arm. He freaked out, and we talked about me getting help. I have been in therapy for 7 months, and have not cut once since then.
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replied November 12th, 2007
hi i used to cut when i was twelve i had so much going on i got to the stage where i hated my body and saw i was ugly i started to destroy my face and neck aswell i tryed to slice my throat, i just wanted relief from the pain inside and let it out on the outside.
i dont cut anymore it doesnt help atm i am overdosing alot i saw cutting wasnt enough if i overdose i sleep and i will never have to wake up. and now i smoke aswell as relief i dislike blood but i enjoy suffering and being in pain i have anger problems and when im angry i make bruises and still cut my self now and agen to releave the anger as last time it built up n i tryed killing my mum and sister im 14 now and still screwed up its amazing what simple cutting can lead to ... it just makes things worse when no one i know understands me and my family and friends never listen, never talk to me ... i even had councilin ... she didnt listen i walked out and now i only have myself to talk to ... trust me cutting isnt good becus u see cutting as not enough and move on to bigger things ... i should know . i have .... cutting helps because it makes you forget for a small amount of time but then u jus have scars and the pain comes back ...
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replied December 1st, 2007
Physical pain relieves mental pain. I realize that I have a lot of self hatred. Maby allot of us do. I punish myself for being fat, ugly, stupid, weak, whatever short comings I have. I do not cut where others can see because I am not asking for help. I am very private about my issues, accept with you. I dont buy the "love yourself" bull...pucky by the way. There are ways we all deal with our selves when we screw up, as disfunctional as they may be. Of course its wrong, but maby there is just not a very effective solution for us right now besides self punishment. Obviously we are we not stable enough to handel these problems rationally....DUH. Besides, there is the natural endorphins released after pain, so of course thats a bonus. So much more to this as you all know.....peace.
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replied December 10th, 2007
I know its pretty low, and feel bad reading the reasons of why others cut because of it... but, I dont have one really. I just cut, to cut. Its kind of like smoking, in a way; I dont really need a reason. If I want to feel justified in what I do, I'll find a way to make one [a reason] up.
I like how it looks, how it feels, and its just something to do. ATM, I dont even plan on trying to quit TBH. I havent taken it too far yet, just clean sharp razors to the upper arm... and if I do take it too far... I'll worry about it then...
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replied December 17th, 2007
Experienced User
me i started cutting for one reason. And that was that i was going to slice my wrist and kill my self but got scared, I didn't want to hurt my nana(grandma) again. She found me last time i tried to kill myself. But i keep on for many different reasons. It made me feel something other than sad for that moment(i felt pain, relief, high, in charge). Because sometimes you feel like screaming or like tearing something apart, well i chose my skin. Plus, its very addictive. Right now i'm not cutting that is because i dont want to lose the love of my life again. But when me and him broke up. I tried to kill myself and i was cutting about 5 times every other hour. including in school. it got to the point where i had a blade in my locker.

And to be honest it is something that i will always have to try hard not to do.
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replied December 18th, 2007
i used to just punch myself in the face alot, or punch a wall, usually when im drunk cus i totally lose control of my emotions when im blacked out, but recently i started grabbing knives and making cuts on my leg

i really dont know why i do it, probly just out of self hate, but i dont do it that often cus when i feel like im gonna lose it, and i think of grabbing a knife, i always say to myself, "ok, ill smoke a bit of pot, and if i still feel like cutting myself after, then i will", and you know what? i never ever have hurt myself after getting a lil stoned, never. you feel really stupid for ever even thinking of hurting yourself after you get stoned. but weed is just a temporary cure. the next day i feel just as low. thats probly why i smoke so much pot.
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