Would you get even?
Yes
No
If she wouldn't find out, yes.
0%  0%  [ 0 ]
85%  85%  [ 6 ]
14%  14%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 7
Wow, I am so glad I found an honest, open forum to discuss my issues. And lately I have been so stressed by them that I feel I need to get someone's help.

I have been dating this girl for a year and half, and it has been great so far. We have traveled, explored, and grew together. But her past has been more colorful than mine.

I was raised with strict moral values, and was always told that girlfriends will distract me from my goals and my career. I was home-schooled in high-school and all my phone calls were screened by my parents to make sure I am not hanging out with bad kids or dating some floozy. So I didn't really get the normal childhood and the mandatory high-scool sexual experience. Even when I got in to college, I evaded advances from girls for a long long time. Now at the ripe old age of 25, I had only two girlfriends. I never had sex outside a relationship. And this wasn't for the lack of opportunities, but rather just because the way I was brought up.

On the other hand, my girlfriend had four boyfriends between 17 and 22, including people from two different races.

This fact pops up in my mind everytime I see a young couple, even on TV. I have this visual of her kissing someone else or saying "I Love You" to someone else when she was so young and naive. And it makes me sick to the stomach.

Now as I am thinking of settling down, I wonder whether I missed a lot in my life. My parents delayed my social life, and hence I was never anyone's first. I wonder if it makes any difference that she has more sexual experience than me. I feel like avenging: I feel like going out and getting some girls just to get even with her behind her back. She wouldn't know the difference, and I will feel better. I was taught to be competitive in everything, and I am feeling that I am going to lose this battle to someone I will spend my life with.

I don't know what to do.
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replied July 26th, 2007
Community Volunteer
you have nothing to avenge or revenge for.

so what you slept with less people, it isn't a race to see who can sleep with the most.

my partner has slept with only me - ever he's 37.
I on the other hand slept with a far far greater number between the ages of 13 and 21.

I'm more than happy with my partner.

Why would you want to run the risk of ruining everything you have just because you think you missed out on sleeping around?
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replied August 2nd, 2007
Well........
I understand how you feel because I've been through this with my husband. We are young, he is 21 and I'm 22, but we know that sometimes no matter how hard it may be if you really love someone TRULY you have to make sacrifices. And if you want to be with this girl the getting back at her shouldn't be an option because if you do it will come back on you, I know it will because I've been through it in a past relationship and it always does. Also if you plan on cheating you need to think about the consequences such as diseases and the break of trust in your relationship. Do you talk to her about your feelings? And about her dating people outside of her race, why does that bother you?
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replied August 8th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
You have to accept her past. She didn't do anything wrong. Although I understand why you would feel the way you do, you can't take your past out on her. She lived a completely normal life, and you can't be angry with her for it. That's just projecting your problems on to her.

I think you need to talk to her about it and find a way to deal with your feelings.
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replied August 27th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Why does it matter that she had boyfriends from different races? There is a very tiny portion of the population that falls in love with their first boyfriend/girlfirend, thus most people in the world have said " I llove you" to other people before they come across the one they will marry. I would advise you not to go sleeping around for "revenge" beccuase eventaually it will catch up and then you will have a relationship filled with lies and deciet.

I am not sure I think this relationship is right for you. You harbor such anger and resentment toward this person you supposedly love. Furthermore, your racist comments really scare me. That's just my opinion.
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replied September 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
sillyakchick wrote:


I am not sure I think this relationship is right for you. You harbor such anger and resentment toward this person you supposedly love. Furthermore, your racist comments really scare me. That's just my opinion.


Yes, I agree this guy don't really love this lady. I think the guy needs to breakup with lady, then go then go sleeping around and when he is done then he should look for a serious relationship. He clearly not ready for serious relationships and evidently has no clue of what true love is about.
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replied September 13th, 2007
Supporter
Ok well I don't see a reason for you to be seeking any kind of revenge-what so ever. 4 boyfriends from ages 17-22 is actually not that bad, comparing to what the other girls have been up to. I knew of a 14 year old (one of my friend's little sisters) who had been sexually active with more than 5 men. And that seems to be the norm around here! It scares the hell out of me because I have a daughter.
Anywho... back on track....
If you really love this girl, her past wouldn't matter. The past has already come and gone and all you can control is the present and the future.
It's not her fault your parents locked you down, nor is it yours.
My fiance and I had a similar problem. He didn't have very many girlfriends, and I had a few boyfriends. Yeah, I have told other men I loved them, but I did at the time. There is a reason we are not together anymore. Usually because they cheated on me.
If this girl meant anything to you at all, you wouldn't even THINK about cheating on her to avenge something that is out of her control.
It's not like she can get into a time machine and change her teenage years so that she sat at home with Mommy all night.
Be thankful you HAVE a girl that is a little more experienced. That could be a great opportunity for YOU to have her teach you a few things. It's a LOT OF FUN learning what to do, and you shouldn't get all bent out of shape just because she learned sooner.
I don't think you are emotionally mature enough to withstand a relationship right now, especially if you are deciding whether or not to seek revenge.
Maybe you should break up with her and THEN date around. At least have the decency to tell her how you feel before you muck everything up.

Rolling Eyes
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