I think it all started when my brother was in his last year of high school and was in the middle of undertaking exams. My father was using the bathroom in the morning and my brother was in a rush to leave the house for an exam. Since my father was there and he couldn't use it, he suddenly screamed, kicking out at the door and yelling out terrible things at my father, trying to force him out. My father never knew he had an exam that morning and later apologised, offering to give him a lift to school but what happened woke and surprised the whole family that morning because he had never been like that.

After the incident, my mother tried to lecture him as a parent about treating his own father the way he did and he almost did the same thing again - Suddenly screaming out loud but this time smashing out at the wall next to my mother. When I went out to try and calm them down, my mother had broken down in tears, surprised at the sudden change in my brother.

It didn't look like he was just angry. His eyes looked like he was ready to literally kill someone.

Ever since then, my brother seems to have a tendency to do the same for the simplest of matters - Always screaming out repeatedly, smashing things with his fists, refusing to listen or talk to anyone and giving us a threatening look. I'll refer to all this as "rage" from this point onwards because I don't know the correct word for it.

Once he told us it was because of the pressure he was feeling about doing well in higher education and he was having headaches. We took him to the doctor and even had the hospital run some diagnosis for him but in the end, they concluded nothing wrong. However, my brother felt the doctors were lying to him and despite other doctors coming to the same conclusions, his thoughts were the same.

Despite his top grades, he has refused to go into higher education or go find a job these past two years. He hardly leaves the house unless it's for basic needs such as a dental checkup. When most of the family are at work or school, he would just walk around wandering from room to room or just sit there for hours staring at the floor.

When we try to ask him what was the matter out of pure concern, he doesn't answer us. If we press a little, he just yells at us saying it was none of our business and go into another rage.

Now, the whole family is trying to go by his ways, not fighting back because it's becoming a increasingly growing concern that he will be completely insane one day if he continues raging the way he does but before that happens, I'm afraid it might drive us crazy.

If the food's not to his tastes, he refuses to eat and when we try to ask what does he want to eat he goes into a rage. When someone walks about the house going about their business, occasionally popping in to see how he's doing, he thinks we're spying on him and goes into rage. Ironically, he claims we don't care about him and says that he hates all of us even when we've been trying to talk with him. Even the use of a computer is supposedly disturbing his sleep at night now even though it never bothered him before and when we try come to calmly find a resolution with him, he goes into another rage.

What should we do?
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replied September 7th, 2009
My family went through a similar situation with my sister, but her rages ultimately ended up in several suicide attempts. It's better to seek help for him now before the rages and his temper continues. For my sister we put her into a treatment center called The Pavilion which helps patients with psychiatric problems. It was very difficult to do this, but when she returned home she showed great improvement in her behavioral as well as her depression. You and your family can't keep tiptoeing around your brother and what he wants.. you just cant live your life like that. He needs help, and you're all aware of that. I feel for you and your family and hope this helps.
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