All my life there has been little things that have always caused the stupidest problems, in family, in friends, everything. Even in my boyfriend, who i love more than anything. Lately i've realized something, and honestly i don't know what to do.

My mom has taken care of us for 10 years, all 3 of us, my brother, my sister, and me. Theres my oldest brother but i've not seen him in over 7 years. They always get angry easily, especially my sister and my mom, who just flip out on small things or bring up things that before meant nothing but turns into a yelling or arguing match. It took me a while but I realized that my mom is Bi-Polar, though she doesn't know it, and has passed the trait on to probably my oldest brother, my older brother, and my sister and even possibly me. The thing is i'm sick of it. I've always had a hard time controlling my anger, but i've done it because i'm the type of person who hates things when they get out of control, and to lose control of the aspects of my life when i can control it. (emotions i mean, basically i have more control over my anger, sadness, and things i feel than most of the people around me)

I don't know much how to deal with my sister anymore. When she's PMS she drives me insane, i spend the weekends at my boyfriends and most weekends to escape. I'm tired of being yelled at almost constantly, being talked about behind my back so loud that they let me hear it. Ever since i was little my sister has always had some comment, some thing to try and lower my self esteem but no one has notice until recently i finally started talking about it.
My sister, above all, is worst out of the bunch. She has these, idk what to call them, but mind games is what i do. When talking to my mom she'll bring up things that have happened before and purposfully get her angry, then turn the anger towards me. This way she doesn't get yelled at, gets what she wants from my mom, and get me in trouble in the process. Worse of all though is the fact that she neglects her 9 month old son because of it. When she gets mad at someone or feels like someone is getting mad at her she leaves Ian, her son, for me and my mom to watch, and in the end i end up doing most of it, changing his diapers, getting his bottels, running back and forth to do this and that for him, while play with him, give him baths and all. I don't always mind, i love my nephew, but i just don't see it as right when he's crying for his mom and she gets mad about it and starts yelling at me because "i did something wrong"! Then what annoys me is if i don't do the things she wants me to do, basically if she can't control me she gets all pissed off about it. She makes me clean and takes the credit for it, says i did something she did or tries to blame it on me then gets mad when it doesn't work like she is the victim.

Then theres my mom. She's not always bad, just when she gets mad. WHen she gets mad it's almost like she's a different person. It can be over something small like my brother coming home really late(we're used to that, he's 20 and keeps his own hours) and she'll just flip and go nuts. It's like some switch in her brain turned intro angry mode and she's not ger, she flips over everything, brings up things that happened years ago or months or weeks, basically any ammount of time. When something bad happens she tries to blame it on other people, like they did something wrong though she knows they didn't, but then talks about it later like she hadn't said those things and is just fine, but they still run through my mind, like wth?

My brother is the same way as me though, he has better control over it like me, though he loses control even easier than i do. (usually i do only when i'm stressed out)
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replied October 6th, 2009
Wow, I am so sorry to hear what you have had to go through. Alot of what you said here, I have seen in my sister in law and she does it to her kids. The rudes comments, lies about saying them or not, just flat out being vicious for no reason at all. It all makes more sense now. Luckily, she divorced my brother while she was in a low place. The kids still get it, but have more stability when they are with their dad, thank goodness.

Be strong, you may have to move on with your own life if you want to have a normal life with your boyfriend. As hard as it is, you have to think of yourself first. Good luck.
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