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Sudden break up causing me to feel horribly depressed

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Me and my sweetheart were together for near five months. Our relationship has been online and there is a bit of a age gap by 4-5 years. His mother had found out we were dating and constantly hounded him about it from what he told me. She does this to him about all the time he would spend online talking to "Internet people". The day we broke up was extremely sudden after he said some of his folks came by. Normally I never heard of his family stopping by if it was not a holiday so I began to think that his mother called in others to convince him to leave. We only ever had one bad fight due to a misunderstanding but it was cleared up the day of. We constantly told each other how much we loved each other and nothing ever seemed to go wrong until this. He has blocked all communication from me and last told me that the reason he left was because I was a "stalker" out of nowhere. The first reason he gave me was that his folks did not approve of me and then said something about the age gap.

All of this coming out of the blue nearly one week ago caused me to feel extreme pains in my chest, stomach, and continuous hot flashes. I almost had an anxiety attack at my school that I think was triggered by all the stress. The biggest pain on me is that he did not even wish to try to work it out or try to date a bit secretively. I had hoped that it would solve itself and we would be back together after a little break but it only got worse as I just tried having simple conversations with him to "remain friends". I just do not know what to do and it is causing my grades to drop quickly in school since I can not focus on anything and grow tired very easily now. No one has ever made me so happy and feel wonderful every second of the day. He would normally say I did the same for him.

I just am confused on what to do about this. He told me himself he did not want all this happening but showed little emotions. Most of our conversation is stuck with chats but both always put what we were feeling in the little * symbols. I still love him just as much. Him saying he still loved me even after the break up only made me want to try harder.
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replied February 19th, 2014
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

Although you didn't include the information it does rather sound as if he has his roots in a different culture or has at least had a different upbringing to you.

Even among what would be assumed are typical westerners there are some strong religious and cultural differences.
There are Jewish families who will not allow their children to consort with none-Jewish and the same can be said of many of the people who are immigrants to the west even if they have been here several generations. Obedience and openness is very strong in many such tight-knit families.
There are even western Roman Catholic families who behave more as if the Spanish Inquisition never ended and all Protestants are heretics and blasphemers and all none-Christians are barbarians.

I am not saying I approve, in fact if I think about it too much I begin to despair as anything good the human race has learned in recorded history has been largely cancelled out by something bad that has mostly been driven by greed for wealth or power by a few individuals.

Someone should make a law making it illegal to breed with one's own type...

This doesn't help you now but trying to understand what might have happened to your internet boyfriend when his family called around will help in time.

You are suffering now not just from feeling like a part of you is missing but also from shock and probably from the way you have been insulted by being unjustly accused of being a stalker.
This is clearly not his word but the word of a family member who doesn't really understand but has seen the word used on television and has adopted it. Perhaps English isn't their first language...

They do have a point of sorts from their point of view. A boy should not be spending time on-line but should be out playing with other nice Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, African, Chinese, etc. children, especially if arranged marriage is part of the culture as it wouldn't be very good if such a child ever believed freedom of choice or love-marriage was good.
Such parents cannot afford their children to be contaminated by such ideas.

It is very unlikely he would believe what he said to you but he would have been forced to say it because he could not be disobedient. What you perceived as a lack of emotion would probably be resignation.

While trying harder is the instinctive thing to do it is likely to cause more trouble in the long run. If you persuade him to rekindle your on-line romance secretly the chances are very much against it leading anywhere which will store at least as much pain for the future and if discovered cause him to be in terrible trouble; disobedience simply will not be tolerated in many cultures.

It is a fact of life lots of people who love one another simply cannot be together. These facts are among the regrets each person gathers as they go through life and there are times when the burden becomes very heavy but each must learn to bear the weight and continue onward.

It is clear the shock has almost caused an anxiety attack and it has left you stressed and distracted. That sort of stress combined with depression can cause great fatigue.
It is early days but you cannot afford to be distracted for much longer or you could be quite ill. It is important to stop your brain going around in circles searching for a solution to the insoluble and there is no better way of avoiding the emotional exhaustion that will cause than to focus on your schoolwork and your hobbies, interests and other friends and wherever possible stay away from the computer.

It is important to realise your mind or emotions have been injured just as surely as your body would if it had been in a car wreck.
It is important you provide the right conditions for your bruises to heal. A broken leg doesn't get better if it is pulled and twisted every five minutes to see if it is still broken.
Patience and distraction is the key for both sorts of healing.

Good luck!
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