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Step-mum trying to concieve

I was married last April to a wonderful man and we became pregnant in the first month. I miscarried at five weeks and was devastated and have been on Fluox since. We have been trying to conceive again since October but were never exactly careful the other months either. Every month is a disappointment. I'm 34 and every month I'm a broken crushed mess when my period arrives. Just came on this morning and I'm sitting here bawling. I'm at the end of my rope and so desperate to be a mum. Everywhere I turn there are unwanted pregnancys, pregnant teenagers, I just don't understand. I'm also a step-mum to two girls that I love dearly but it makes the pain so much worse seeing what my husband has and the bond between them. The girls have told me its good to have their family time with dad but good I'm here to do the cooking and cleaning etc. I feel so selfish that they're not enough for me. I feel so separated from my husband when they are here and like I don't belong in my own home. It seriously hurts having to pick them up from school and drop them off. All the things I do for them I want to do for my own kids. I feel so selfish and so scared I'm never going to have children of my own. Had a scan after ongoing pains since miscarriage and all came back fine except very tipped uterus. Next step is hubby to get checked I guess. Has anyone been through similar or in a step-parent situation while wanting children of their own. Please... this month has broken me completely. Feel like its destroying me.
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replied March 7th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
LilAnnie, You need to work with your doctor to optimize your fertility and make sure you have sex at the best times to catch your egg. Learn about fertility awareness methods (FAM) if you have not done so yet. Clean up your body from drugs and bad foods and improve your general health and fitness.

Just a few remarks. I know it does not help with your frustration but anyways... Babies are not limited to just a certain number every year. Every time one of your friends gets pregnant, or you hear about an unwanted pregnancy, it does not make your chances for pregnancy any less. It does not matter how much other people deserve a baby or not, its got no relationship to your issues whatsoever and they do not get pregnant to make you jealous.

You also have the opportunity to build a very special relationship with these girls. Even though you are not their mom, you are still the woman married to their dad and an important influence on them. It sounds like you need to talk to your husband to make sure he does not treat you as an outsider but include you in the family activities as his wife. Showing them a happy and loving marriage is worth a lot to their development.

Please do not take any of my remarks as negative. It is not meant in that way at all.

Best of luck with TTC.
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