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17 soon, pregnancy debate?

so in 3 months I'll be 17, 4 for my boyfriend/fiancé who I have been dating a long long time (2 or so years) he lives in a small town outside of my city and we've talked about the idea of conceiving a child. His parents would accept it as ours, he knows that already, and i struggle in the situation I'm in (his dad makes a lot of money, my dad hates to spe d money on me a d doesn't even pay what he fully should on child support, my stepdad doesn't make enough for the 3 of us to live on and my mother cannot get a job). Mostly I jut flirt with the idea as an escape, but would it really be all that terrible? Two close family members have had children out of wedlock.
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replied October 14th, 2010
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Umm, wait...are you suggesting that his parents or your parents financially support YOUR child? No. That is NOT right. I accidentally became pregnant after failed birth control at 17. I had already graduated, lived on my own (got kicked out for getting pregnant), had my own apartment and a good job, and the father of my son, my then-boyfriend is now my husband. My situation is NOT typical. I went on to finish college. Do I wish I had waited? EVERY DAY. But I do not regret my child. I did not live off someone else's income. I stepped up and took responsibility for my own child.

A few things you should think about before doing this:
Can you emotionally handle a colicky baby? My son was super colicky and would cry for HOURS. The only thing that got him to sleep was a car ride. And if you stopped the car, he would start up again.

How about a premature baby? All three of my children were preemies...my last one passed on due to complications of prematurity...could you handle the unexpected death of your child?

How about a special needs child? Could you handle having a baby with a defect that interferes with mental or physical function? A child with behavioral problems? How about a child with physical or mental/behavioral problems due to trauma (such as a car crash or fall) or illness (such as strep throat or other systemic disease/illness)? What about if your child, the one you hastily brought into this world, was diagnosed with incurable disease? Or cancer?
What about your child's future? Do you have plans for a savings account for your child to access to help pay for college? Gotta start that account as soon as the baby is born, better yet, you should start it PRIOR to conception. College isn't cheap.

How about life insurance for yourself, your boyfriend, your child? The unexpected happens.

What about if your boyfriend leaves you? Just because he fathers your child does not mean he HAS to stay with you.

What about the essentials for parenting, such as a crib, a bassinet, diapers, clothes, formula, bottles, health insurance, a pediatrician, toys, binkies, a breast pump, etc? Yes, a baby shower could afford you with some of these essentials, but just as you should not expect ANYONE to pay for YOUR child, you should not expect a baby shower to cover everything you need.

What about YOUR future? A baby alters future plans. I had to postpone some of my further education until my son was older so that I could adjust to being a new, young mother. It is exhausting. VERY exhausting. I don't party, never got to. Even though I never had the real desire to party, I do look back and wonder.

Seriously, please tell me that you honestly don't expect someone else to pay for your baby. Flirting with the idea of having a baby to escape reality is a HORRID reason to actually plan and have a child. There is nothing more REAL than a screaming, hungry, soiled, puky ball of human baby. Talk about a reality check! Finish school, grow up a bit, emotionally. Get out into the real world, have fun, further your education, get a job, your own place, settle down, and THEN have a baby.

If I could have had the same children I do now, only a few years later than they were born...again, I do not regret them at all. I regret the TIMING.
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