so i was with my girlfriend for about 3 and a half years. the first couple years were amazing and we had a really good time and always got along. then the past year we would argue and fight a lot for many different reasons. it has been three weeks since we broke up. i am finding it so hard to live without her. i keep telling her how i have changed cuz i realized what was going wrong with our relationship and i have had time to really think about it. she means the world to me and i dont want to completely lose her out of my life but she doesnt really wanna talk to me right now. what should i do? please help
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replied February 19th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Give her time.....If you push her then she will never want to talk to you if you leave her for a while she will eventually give you time to talk....Don't leave too long in case she finds someone else!....Jenny
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replied February 19th, 2009
Ok thanks i will try and do that and we both told each other we werent looking cuz she said she hasnt been single for so long. She told me to try to get over her for now and i said "how? U mean find someone else? And she said no. Does that give me some hope?
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replied February 20th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Well am not to sure what she means really because when she says get over me it sounds like she doesn't want you back but then when she says no to you finding someone else it sounds like she still wants you......just be careful she isn't messing you around giving you mixed signals..Jenny
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replied February 21st, 2009
i have the same problem but the thing is that my love moved very far and now i cannot stop thinking about her i love he so much anyways i think u should have a small talk with her but dont push her get in the moment with her and things will probably work out
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replied March 1st, 2009
Experienced User
As mentioned above, give her time and don't be pushy or appear to be pushy. She probably needs time to think and evaluate your relationship. But as J3nny mentions, don't wait too long as she could move on. Thus you have that delicate dilemma of how long is too long.
You should probably look at what has changed in your relationship over the 3 + years and focus in on what were the issues that were the main component of your arguments and determine what caused these disagreements.

Wendy
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replied March 2nd, 2009
It's been said a bunch. But it really is the ONLY way to do it.

Give...Her...Time

I cannot stress that enough, don't text and call her telling you miss her and need her, don't blame her for ANYTHING. Just give her time. Make mindless chatter if you need to, but don't bring up the past. What happened happened, you do not want to blame her for anything (even if you think it's her fault), and you do not want to express your desire to be with her. Think about what it was that drove you two to break up, go to that point, and erase the rest. If you become better friends and build the foundation again, it should work out. You got her to fall in love with you once, you can do it again. Cheers and best of luck.

I am in a VERY similar situation, I am giving her time, we've decided to date other people should the opportunity present itself, and we're communicating again. No arguing, no talking about our history together, we're building the friendship that was once there, and like I said, if you got her to fall in love with you once, it can be done again.
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