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So close only to start over again?

Ever feel at the end of your rope? I have been back and forth with trying to "figure out what's wrong" with me for nearly ten years. Each time I find myself at a specialist who thinks he can figure it out, I get all the tests poked and probed, and then it comes down the the answers. I get my hopes up "This is it, here is my long awaited answers" to hear a frank "I dont know".

I am a mother of two, and have basically every symptom of MS at this point in my life, some are worse than others, and I broke down and went back to the doctors. Between broncospams this winter, torta something where my neck was so bad I couldnt move it, my hands swelling so badly, hurting so bad, randomly and at night, that I can't use them at times, my breathing is almost as if I have sudden onset of asthma just from talking, and the new one of I can't swallow sometimes. I have always fallen my knees give out, my ankles are bad, my legs and hips always hurt but it moves around not always the same pain. I bruise easy, healing takes forever. I have skin issues, random rashes... embarrassing but we make a joke out of my weak bladder... I dont know that it's weak but I've "leaked" for as long as I can remember. My mind is going... my memory is touch and go, and reality is a dream or a dream is reality and it's quite exhausting.

My doctor felt certain I had MS, which you diagnose by ruling out everything else. So we started tests. More tests. More tests. I have more bruises and pain and sore spots than someone who's been hit by a truck. The contrast MRI dye went outside of my vein, and I wanted to scream. I am quite tired of tests once again. But this time the doctor said this contrast MRI would answer our questions it would be the definative. He KNOWS I have MS, and I'm either further in the disease or I'm relapsing right now, because my first MRI shows something with the white matter and swelling. Contrast MRI comes in today... I see the doctor, and his mind is changed. Of course.

This MRI shows some kind of infection in my sinus, that he said I have had for years. It is causing all my problems, and spreading to my brain?? Causing all the brain stuff. He said he can not help me any further it is not nurological and I have to see a Ear Nose and Throat. Get more tests. More pokes more prodes more I dont knows.

So, has anyone else been here? I'm going to call my primary doctor tomorrow, and talk with her to see if she can tell me better what this new MRI says. Because I dont even understand fully, you kind of zone out at a point when you hear the "I dont know" enough times. And I'm only going because my husband is kind of making me.

My problem is, I'm losing my insurance soon. I'm not sure how soon, maybe one month, maybe two. I dont have time for lots more tests and unanswered questions. I need to be pointed in the right direction. I'm running in circles for years, until I get tired, and sit out for a bit, then I seem to just start running in cirlces again. I dont want to lose my insurance and just be stuck like this, and the infection thing I'm being told now is scary, I'm not sure but I think infection and brain in the same sentence equal really bad things, esp if you aren't planning to get it taken care of.

I just want to scream at my doctors FIX ME ALREADY...

(infection is also scary, because I did have MRSA and battled it on and off for the past few years. I have been "clear" since summer 2010, but I hear the word infection and I'm thinking my picc lines and red man syndrome... iv's hospitals and more antibiotics making me sick... can't take anymore, and I'm sure I'm not alone in atleast that thought.)

Any thoughts anybody?
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replied May 9th, 2011
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