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Sleep Paralysis Support Needed dreading bedtime

My Sleep Paralysis (SP) consists of me "waking up" to find someone in my room (man, monster, whatever). I can see everything as it should be, except he is there, standing over me. I know I'm still asleep because I cannot move or speak and I know I need to wake up or I will be killed. I try & try to move, but can't, so I start screaming. I scream forever but nothing happens. Sometimes, I will wake up and get out of bed, only to have another episode and find myself waking up still in bed! I have had this since I was a child and nothing seems to have helped much. The severity changes, of course, but I still have regular episodes. I was put on Prazosin and it has reduced the amount from nearly every night to an average of say 1 night a week. Those nights, I have them all night long. I take sleeping medication because I would go several days without sleep, fearing a recurrence. So now, I sleep every night, but when I do have an episode, I am too sedated to actually be able to get up and out of bed to stop the cycle. So, I'm in for a long, tormented night. And this, once a week, a minimum of 5 or 6 times a night. Sometimes, I wake myself up, or think I do, or my husband does. He says it's like when you see a dog dreaming, and he knows I'm in trouble. Unfortunatly, because of my sleep meds, I fall right back to sleep and right back into my torment. I have tried fighting, accepting, praying, rebuking, bargaining and ignoring the intruder, all to no avail. I have even bolted upright screaming, I rebuke you in Jesus' name! I woke up, but what I went thru to get there was hell, literally.
But, let me share what brought me to this website. A week ago, the "thing" in my room actually got on top of me, held me down with his body, and raped me. It was as real as real could get. I felt everything. I was thinking, "This is really happening! I'm being raped!" I fought for my life but lost. Then, I woke up, wide awake! I was shocked. I totally thought it was real! Of course, I was relieved, but I was also completely traumatized. I felt scared, angry, sad, disgusted...violated. Fortunately, nothing happened the next couple nights, but then, it started all over. This time, my husband woke me up and I could still feel the attacker's body on me, every muscle, everything, after completely awake. I could not go back to sleep. That was Saturday. Sunday, I was a wreck, crying all day. I watched the clock, dreading bedtime. I didn't take my sleeping med because I didn't want to sleep. Finally passed out around 4 am and it started right away. I must have had a dozen attacks in the 4 hours I slept. Now, Monday, it's already 11 pm and I'm a total basket case. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO SLEEP BUT I AM SO EXHAUSTED. Soon, everyone will be asleep and I will be alone again. God help me...
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