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single unfair...and a psycho magnet...

ive been single basically all of my life..all ive ever wanted is a relationship...literally..it's carzy how that works..worse im monogamous loyal beautiful kind smart....i have every great quality a man should want, but the problem is...men just HATE me..they abuse, insult me or put me down.. most men won't even go on a 2nd date with me and most of the losers i meet are off the internet and are such jerks to me or mistreat me. its so confusing because...im really nice and sweet and so open minded and men should be thinking...wow this is like a dream? instead...they lead me on then stand me up for a date, or lie to me. it makes no sense...im a very beautiful woman and can't meet 'any' guy. also all the people i meet are losers, creeps jerks..psychos. men seem to treat me like some kind of a free prostit*tute or something... they only contact me if they want sex, and try to ask for it in the most derogatory way...im so lonely i'll have guys come over..just to 'hang out' just to have someone at my place. i dont have sex with them, but on another level the guys ive wanted 'foreplay' from end up rejecting me. It's really weird...if i show interest sexually, the weird male will reject me and use it as an ego thing ie he'd rather 'reject a beautiful woman than be with her." i learned years ago...that as a beautiful woman...i cant even get any kind of a pleasurable sexual experience at all ever. i cant ask a guy to give me oral sex...because he won't. i don't even try anymore...im terrified of men because they treat me like a freak, put me down make fun of me etc. again I look like a model, actress and am really gorgeous but all men do is pick on me or abuse me.

i can't get into my horrid stories...but it's just not fair ...im forced to be single and worse...abused because im pretty. any man that comes across my path always 'insults me, hurls insults at me" men just enjoy abusing me-- that goes for strangers too. what makes me sick is that im a REALLY nice person like super nice...and men just abuse me because im so nice. you think..what guy doesn't want a super hot beautiful nice amazing woman? oh none of them do...i am not joking 'any' man on this forum if he even sees my picture...will put me down or insult me because im beautiful. this is how 99% of men treat me. im 35 and i should know because this is what my dating life has been. im a virgin too because no guy will be my boyfriend...and ive even had men reject me sexually ie for oral sex and other things...men treat me like a freak they treat me like im ugly, weird, stupid...they get turned on by 'putting me down.' even the other day at the movies some random stranger put me down for no reason...also stories ive written like this on the internet..not even pertaining to men usually end up in these horrible sick males insulting me or putting me down too...the only guy who i dated tortured me mentally and refused sex with me and he was in his 50's and used me as a puppet/trophy for his own personal ego...so he could think "oh good im abusing a beautiful woman and rejecting HER." my life is scary and i get abused for being beautiful and nice...

im sexually deprived and want sex SO badly...i want oral sex...but i can't ask a guy for it because 99% of men will say "no"...you might think im lying but no..this is my life/reality. ive even had men give me oral sex ONCE, then literally get mad because i didnt do it back to them RIGHT away. men will NOT make me cum multiple times...its sickening and bizarre...they REFUSE to give me any pleasure and men just want to torture me. in the past 3 months ive had 3 men refuse oral after leading me on...and i asked one guy who used to give it to me if he wants to come over and he acted weird/rude...but when he thought i was a 'random stranger' who he had never seen he was begging to come over...but when i showed him it was me (online) he started acting as if he was only available one day....men litearlly torture me because im beautiful...im really nice/kind and i hate to be mean to people and i see the good in people...so it SHOCKS me when these sick crazy men do this to me...im open/available....and sensual and some of these men just lead me on for fun and they are ugly/weird people and so mean/cruel. my situations are so extreme and weird that now im like broken because of them...i dont see myself as a hot sexy gorgeous girl anymore...i feel like a freak because how can someone so beautiful just keep getting rejected sexually?? its crazy and abnormal and irrational. and for the idiots who are going to say "oh its YOU oh how do you smell oh" omg seriously you creeps...there is NOTHING wrong with me... im not only so beautiful but im so kind too and so awesome....men seem to only want to be with ugly mean crazy women... the things they do to me are cruel and scary....and im like one of those amazing women that you think men would be chasing but instead they abuse and reject me. men are not nice to me..kind nothing. all they do is put me down, find fault in me..insult me just for how i breathe...i mean they will find something and try to create flaws in me to craete insecurities because i am beautiful and they feel inferior to me...but again their cruelty is unwarranted and unfair and evil and it's wrong and makes no sense. these men aren't like "hey wow you're nice..i had a great date..let's do it again." nothing. they treat me as if they met a ghost or a freak..are rude mean...one guy after a date...we went to dinner/movie...he called me insulting me saying i gave him the wrong directions home and that was mean of me" huh??? i gave him the right directions and that was sick...ie that he called me to put me down...and accuse me of giving him the wrong directions. people are just mean cruel or weird to me no matter what. or i go on a date and the rude guy is asking me 50 questions as if...im a suspicious person...what do you do...this that..but tons of questions as if im someone to be suspicious of. again im a really awesome person...and im also really beautiful inside and on the outside... these guys should be thinking...hey wow i met this awesome girl..instead they put me down some are just so mean to me and wont even talk to me and then yell at me after just to be evil to me.
at my job the only guys who talked ot me insulted me ...they tried to call me 'quiet or shy' just to be rude...ie that was their way of 'starting a conversation with me"...because they couldn't just say 'hey...how are you." my manager used to come and shake my chair really hard...and it realy hurt my body...he did this only ot me...he'd bang it until i finally told him to stop because i felt like i was going to faint when he did that...men NEVER ask me out...ive never had a guy ask me out...but ive had plenty of guys...put me down insult me just be mean/cruel...even random strangers...even a celebrity model on a modeling website saw my pictures once and he was trying to talk to me but then he was being a creep too just getting into some lame sexual encounter...and was creepy and derogatory. Yes many men want sex but men are just downright mean to me even sexually..either they just want sex in this derogatory way or they reject me sexually...however they treat me..it's going ot be mean/derogatory...

ive even had so many people say "theres no way you're single" and one old man could not believe i was single...he literally thought i was lying..he was shocked..he said "you can have any guy you want'..how are you single??? how??? hes like i dont believe you??? one girl told me well the guy that dates you is lucky...and another man told me that...but my life is constantly getting rejected by psychos and weirdos...it's creepy and weird...it seems to destroy your self worth your sexuality.... can you imagine men sexually rejecting..."some hot actress" over and over again...it just wouldnt make sense...but all men do is treat me cruelly... if i even pass a man on the streets...men will give me disgusting looks as if im weird...put me down sometimes...walk away from me or act as if "ewww"... and yes men do that to beautiful women out of insecurity....but in my case it's on another level...men aer just downright cruel to me and on this planet full of billions of people.. i seriously can't find "ONE' man that wants to be with a monogamous gorgeous girl who is smart caring kind compassionate...it's freaking weird... i feel like im in some kind of parallel universe or something..as a result of men's insane reactions to me and abuse i cant get a boyfriend EVER and not kidding....i can't even find a guy who is 'crazy about me' for my looks, though im beautiful on the inside too...nothing....it's strange crazy and weird... you would think that well ok SOME guy will want to be with me for my beauty..but nothing just abuse. but for me i also have a great personality and just a good person and genuine and for it i get nothing except abuse harassment and mistreatment....men are sick these days crazy warped and its a nightmare. ive even been on dates with guys...who will be gawking at the waitress or hitting on the waitress and im ten times hotter than she is...and just ignore or treat me badly...while im nice and trying to talk to them..male's cruel and mean behavior towards a woman like me...makes no sense...and even the notion of insecurity shouldn't warrant this kind of hostility...but they are sick and something is wrong with men today....if i walked up to any guy in a bar and said "hey sleep with me" 8 out of 10 would reject me...but they wouldnt reject some mean ugly or weird woman just me...because im beautiful...i meet these guys on dates..who tell me of how women reject them...and women stand them up or women want money....omg?? here i am..beautiful girl...kind sweet caring...i dont want money...i dont stand people up...and these sick men will literally play horrible games with me lie to me lead me on treat me so cruelly. one was supposed to go to bike week with me, then he made up some story/lie.. he knew i wanted to go and because he knew i wanted it he tried to cancel last minute just to screw me over...so weird?? you dont want to walk around bike week with a hot beautiful girl?? huh??? yet you're on the internet looking for a date, and it's weird...these men meet a kind nice amazing woman...and they dont just reject me...they do horrible things to mess with me lead me on..lie to me...they are sadistic and cruel towards me.... im baffled...even though these weird men keep doing this to me....it seems so unnatural and weird...why would a man reject a beautiful hot nice woman who is so friendly and cool??? then this jerk began bashing and insulting me after lying to me and bashed me through text for DAYS... crazy...again...he didn't want to go to bike week with me or hang out he just wanted to bash me through text and put me down and call me names....i dont get it?? what is wrong with these sick people...i finally had to threaten the cops on him and he still didn't stop...finally i said again and named the law of harassment and he finally stopped...men just enjoy harassing and abusing me rather than being with me...it's so crazy and weird....i even give all of these men a chance...me? i could be stuck up rude weird...im really beautiful i could laugh at them and think...meh..whatever...but im not like that im really down to earth...and i accept anyone and oddly all of these people just reject/abuse me...

the weird thing is seriously all my life all ive wanted is a boyfriend, sex and a sex life...the only guy i dated refused sex wtih me and tortured me sadistically for fun. he also claimed i was the hottest woman he had ever seen and he was crazy about me however all he did was torture me and didnt give me a relationship nothing...just used me as a puppet to torture/control. also im sexually deprived and so monogamous...i HATE attempting encounters with 'strangers'...its an utter nightmare but because my ex sexually tortured me by depriving me...and did other horrible things to me sometimes i need ie like oral sex...esp since im 35 and a virgin...im also so sexually open but cant even find one friend with benefits to do things with....i just want 'one guy' a boyfriend but can't get it because men are so threatened by me they torture me for fun. even once i was working at bike week and some random man walked by and said "i'd own you"...i said what?? he said seriously...if i was 20 years younger...id' put you on a ranch and give you millions of dollars...you're SO beautiful...so you'd never have to work again." i actually thought that was sweet because men NEVER say anything decent to me..they just insult me and call me names....it's crazy and i dont know why it's this way but the world is a horrible place and sucks...and there are men who think a woman can get any guy or anything she wants...no not if the woman is nice and beautiful...or some of us ...we can't even get sex from old men...for my 'ex' was in his 50's and refused to have sex with me...and just abused me for fun...and he was a sociopath and would taunt me about that...he would say "you're such a loser even your BOYFRIEND won't have sex with you" or he would say "you can't even get an old man to have sex with you"...or even an old guy rejects you and many other things...since im a virgin and i refuse to lose my virginity to some random jerk out there...im waiting for a boyfriend. this sick old person...just tormented me sexually never had sex with me and then mocked me about it and even to this day mocks me and talks about the sex he has with other women however for five years he never had sex with me and just mentally abused me but pretended he was my boyfriend...and men arent just mean to me or reject me anything they do to me is extremely mean derogatory or they play these twisted games with me and insult me. even one guy i went on some dates with two months ago...took me to some concerts but even though i even told him he could make a move on me...he never did. he even said "if im not making a move on you it's because im trying to be respectful." huh?? then we got into a huge fight about it...then stopped talking...then he contacted me again when he saw my pictures...then met up with me and didnt make a move on me again...then he ditched me after a few dates...the whole time he NEVER made a move on me...most of the time my fights with guys end up being...they don't treat me like a woman..they won't touch me or be affectionate..ie men im getting to know...even after we've done sexual things ie foreplay...if they see me again they won't touch me and some if i ask them to touch me they refuse. im scared to ask a guy for a massage...i dont want to know why men treat me this way...but they do. even my ex who refused sex with me said "youre a sex goddess" and he wanted to try to make me a porn star (of course would never happen) but his goal was to ultimately use me to make money though he didnt' really try. but he thought i was so hot he thought he could make lots of money off me yet he never had sex with me?? it's just crazy, weird... my life is some imagine some hot model/actress just getting sexually rejected by men over and over again and these same men would probably have sex with anything that exists...that's my reality..it's weird bizarre and sick...and to be the person going through it is really hard and weird...
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replied April 15th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello girl922,

I have a confession to make. I am tired and I didn't read your entire post. I am sorry about that.

I don't expect you feel much better after your rant at mankind?
You have certainly met lots of ill-mannered men in your life.

I guess having so many rejections has somewhat discoloured your world and destroyed many of your expectations. I guess your experiences have caused you to build defences around yourself that others cannot fail to detect. Such things do tend to be inevitable and happen gradually so people don't realise what is happening.

It might be good to exchange a few emails when I am not so tired. What do you think? Send me a personal message if you want and we can do that.

Good luck!
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replied April 16th, 2013
Sounds like you just meet all the wrong men. Where are you looking?

I feel that if you want to meet the right guy, you need to start in the right place. So if you want someone athletic, start hanging out in gym's or join a sports team. If you're looking for someone intellectual, start spending more time in libraries, and art galleries etc.

I think also that people attract a certain type in response from what they put out. if you want someone compassionate, you need to display compassion. There's more in this read here that I found useful how can I find love, I hope you find it just as useful.

Stay positive and don't give up on love. It happens when you're not expecting it.
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replied April 16th, 2013
Shocked I don't know you but I feel the same way about a lot of things you have said. I am a great guy but seems like no one wants me.
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