Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Single father with depression and can't get back on track.

I'm 25 and a single father to my 1 year old. I am in the process of making a parenting plan. I do not have full custody of my son, I see him weekly under my ex's current non-legal visitation schedule that is slowly sucking the life out of me. I am going through what I would like to call cyclical depression spats (undiagnosed) and am having a hard time maintaining a healthy life. I am dealing with the fact that my son won't have a regular duel parent family in which I wished for growing up. I was raised by a single mother with a father who was never involved in my life since birth. That is the hardest thing to deal with. My son won't have the life I so longed for. My ex cheated on me a few times during our two and a Half years off and on. She accused me of cheating in which I never did but spent all my energy trying to convince her that I wasn't. She still to this day does not believe me and it is the reason why she won't get back with me. I've drained every last ounce of energy to try and make things that will not happen and it's taking a toll on my life. I am seeking counseling currently but am trying this forum out to see if there are any other people out there with a situation familiar to this and might offer some advice. I have had very dysregulated sleeping patterns and find myself engaging in frivolous behaviors (I.e., drinking alcohol more). My ex disclosed to me a year ago that she was bipolar and had a lot of personality behavioral issues during our relationship. It has taken a toll on my soul and spirit. I feel that I have been scarred by this and can't get back on track. Please offer any advice on how to deal with this issue.
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replied March 23rd, 2013
I came across this post, and although I cannot relate, I am still going to offer some advice. Although you may be trying to get back into your relationship, has it occurred to you that this may possibly not be the best option? You mentioned that there have been accusations of cheating and conflicts in general between you and your ex. That may not be the very best environment in which to raise your child. I think the best you could is to maintain a friendship with your ex and let her know that you're there for her, because she may be going through the same troubles as you. You've also said that you don't think that you can get back on track, and I honestly believe you can change that. But first of all, you have to drop habits like drinking more, because that is neither going to help solve your problems or create the positive relationship you want child to have. You need to try doing activities that enforce positivity in your life and so maybe you could do something with your friends to ease your mind of your troubles. You've said that you were raised by a single parent, and maybe you could take tips from your mom or from other single parents (I'm sure there are other forums for that). I know that you want your child to be raised by both parents, but that might not be best option, given the current circumstances. But if you are trying to reach out to your ex, maybe you could ask her to join you in a friendly activity with your child (like a friendly family like activity). Just don't lose hope and do not give up, because you are a much stronger and wiser person that you may actually think you are. Good luck!
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