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Should I be worried about husband's fantasy?

My husband has fantasies of me being with another man. He seems to only become really excited during intimacy if he develops scenarios of me being with multiple men and then he would lick up their ejaculate from various orifices. He keeps saying that he could set up the situation because He knows I would like it. The thought never crossed me mind, until he talked about it
He has even mentioned a friend of mine, as someone I should have slept with. He has even mentioned his name during intercourse asking me if I am thinking of this man's penis... and asking me to describe what it would feel like to get him to ejaculate.

My question: Is this normal? This combined with some other very erratic behavior has me worried.
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First Helper User Profile CarolineEF
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replied June 26th, 2012
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Hi Dinablink and welcome to ehealth: He is kind of getting on the "iffie" side of sex...Fantasies are great as long as we don't really want to act them out...Try and cool him down...I am not sure of his age, but I know that many men need extra excitement in a relationship to get their erection...This is especially true as some age...As long as he does not try and push the button to set up a threesome, let him talk...Take care..

Caroline
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replied June 26th, 2012
He is 50, and we have only been married for 8 weeks. Right now sex is not an issue as he has decided he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. He hasn't touched me since we had an argument over some terminology and he told me I wasn't making sense, and he was incensed when I said well maybe I need to try to explain this again to some other people who might be able to understand.
He has said that he is serious about setting up this fantasy. And he does get erect watching porn usually of the multiple partners and one woman scenario. Or talking about the male genitalia. He has also mentioned a friend of mine and his genitalia as someone he thinks I would enjoy being with. This stimulates him a lot.
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replied June 26th, 2012
How long have you known this man? dreaming of a threesome doesnt sound too crazy for a guy but fantasizing about actually consuming the other mens sexual fluids sounds like he may be bi-sexual or a homosexual who may not have "come out of the closet". If he is getting turned on by another guys errection that sounds pretty suspect to me. Now hes not having sex with you at all?? Sounds totally fishy to me.
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replied June 26th, 2012
I have talked to him since last June, but mostly online and on the phone. We were married about 8 weeks ago, but I had to return home to finish out business, work etc. before I officially moved to his state. I was there for about a week when he decided it wasn't working. He became angry and 'divorced' me. I don't understand because he seemed to make a big point out of being more than willing to give oral sex. He even bought a bell, and said that any time I wanted I should use the bell to 'summon' him for that person. He even made mention of me using a leash on him so that I could have him do my bidding. I kind of laughed that part off thinking it sounded demeaning. But he seemed serious. I don't know about the homosexual part as he invents these scenarios of me having oral sex and intercourse with other men while he watches and then 'cleans up' but then insists it is all for my pleasure, and it's what I want. When these thoughts never crossed my mind. (Not saying I'm an angel, just never had fantasies like this.)
I just don't understand after so many months of being so desirous of me... he just doesn't want to touch me, and doesn't want to be married over something as trivial as me having eaten a couple strawberries he was saving for his son's special breakfast ( a reason he gave for the divorce.)
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replied June 26th, 2012
I am active in the dating world now and was married for over nine years, that behavioris not "average" or even considered normal. He sounds like a fruitcake who painted you a nice visual of him being a stable guy ready for marriage. When it actually sounds like u were/are a phase he is going thru in his sexuality. I'm all about roleplaying and being kinky, but it sound like he is prepared to turn you into some kind of sex slave. Just remember one thing, once u dip off into something of that nature there is no going back. My x husband was a drug addict, who steadily attempted to get me to try whatever fav drug he was on each week. If i only worried myself with fulfilling his desires I would probably would be dead or in prison now. Instead I recognized his dangerous behavior and got out...but the circumstances how i got free are heart breaking. Don't become a victim honey, you don't have to Ho yourself out for a man to love u....don't forget that.
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replied June 26th, 2012
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Yours is the story of so many women who use the Internet for dating...Nowadays men are scarce...A woman sees only the part of him that she wants to see...So goes the saying "love is blind"....Unfortunately this saying was of our yesterdays and now instead of dating in person we pick off of a computer..Thus, now it truly is a meaningful statement...

Move back home...This person sounds like a first class loser...Get a good vibrator and enjoy life...I send you my love...Take care...

Caroline
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replied June 30th, 2012
He's gay. You deserve better. How come I'm straight and I can't find a woman?
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