Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Teen Pregnancy Forum

should get pregnant at 15 ?

Let me start by saying that I'm 15 years old. I really want a baby very bad. I know that I'm young, so please don't give me any of that harsh criticism. My boyfriend and I both would be able to support it. He's got a stable job, and has already graduated highschool. As for me, I know that I'll have to take a few years off from school. I know that I'll have to stay up night after night and day after day with the baby. I'm prepared to give up my social life completely and devote my life to a child. I've already had to do a lot of growing up and self-parenting on my own, do to other family problems. I've got a good hous that I can raise my baby in, and I've even got some of the money to do it. The baby would have everything it needs. Trust me, I wouldn't want to have a child if I couldn't give it the best life in
the world. I've already thought about the health of the baby and all that good stuff. I've thought long and hard about this. I know that I
should wait, but I just can't get past the urge. I've tried to conceive for a little over a year now, and I haven't been able to yet. I'm sticking with the same guy, not bouncing from guy to guy.
I just really need advice. Please help!
Did you find this post helpful?
First Helper Moo
|

replied July 1st, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
You should wait.
You should wait until your schooling is done and out of the way because it is honestly so much harder to go to school and raise a child.
Its great that your boyfriend is done and has a stable job, but you might also want to get a job too, just so there's extra money coming in Before a child is born.
You have no idea just how hard it is to raise a child, and you have no idea what sort of tole it puts on your body Mentally and Physically.
I was 19 when I had my son, and I thought I was just as prepared as you were...I finished high school, read the books, talked to other pregnant women and moms and thought Im as prepared as Im going to be...
I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT WAS ABOUT TO COME.

I had a mental breakdown and cried one night on my couch wondering what the hell I got myself into and whether or not I was being a good mother, I was in so much pain from giving birth (I was snipped AND ripped) I could barely walk, sit OR stand. My boyfriend has a 3AM-3PM job, so for all of night and day I was with my son who would sleep for 4 hours and then be up for the rest of the day and night, and would only sleep if someone held him. That went on for 3-4 months.
I said the same thing as you did, "Im prepared to give up my social life" But I didn't realize just how much I would miss it...Its hard being a teen mother when all your friends are off doing their thing, things that you could have been included in, its hard when most of them stop calling or coming around, its hard seeing them excel in things like college or university, getting jobs and stuff while you sit back and Just barely get by...Its hard to cope mentally when you really end up having no one to talk to about how your feeling.

You say you won't miss it now, but believe me, you will.
Your boyfriend has the stable job now, but right now there isn't another mouth to feed and provide for...once that baby comes, the cost of everything goes WAY up. It costs money even to have a child.
And daycare isn't cheap...

The mature, responsible, on the road to being a good parent thing to do is wait.
Wait until school is done for You, go to college or university, get a career started so you bring in an income as well regardless of the fact that your boyfriend has a good job himself.
You should also live your life a little, you don't have to party it up hardcore or anything, but you should enjoy life. Travel a little, go out and have a fun time.
You'll appreciate being pregnant alot more when these things are done rather than doing them all while you have a child...
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank ProudMommyof2008 for this post: Moo  wbubbles121 

replied July 1st, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Re: I'm 15 and have questions about if I should get pregnant?
If you know you should wait then you should. Wanting a baby isn't enough of a reason to have one. Neither is having had family problems.

wbubbles121 wrote:
Trust me, I wouldn't want to have a child if I couldn't give it the best life in the world.

While material things aren't everything finacial stability is a contribution to having 'the best life in the world' when contemplating deliberately getting pregnant.
Do you own your own home? Do you have your own career? Have you done things you wont be able to when you have a child? Did you know that studied have shown that a mothers level of academic achievement has a big effect on how much education the child will receive. DO you realise just how expensive being a parent is? What about childcare expenses when/if you return to school?
How old is your partner? Is he aware you're trying to get pregnant (I ask because of the wording)
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Moo for this post: ProudMommyof2008 

replied July 1st, 2010
yeah he knows. He wants one too. About the housing, it's all taken care of. He's got his own house, and if need be, I can move in too. I don't think I worded the post exactly the way I should have. He's a few years older than me. Also, please don't say one of those things like "Get a dog." because I've already got 2 of them and a Chinchilla. So obviously a dog isn't exactly what I want. I'm going to get a job too. I wouldn't let him do all of the supporting.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank wbubbles121 for this post: h4ca 

replied July 1st, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
That's good that your getting a job, but you should also get serious about finishing All of school.
I JUST BARELY passed high school, and I went while being pregnant, but it was hard to get up and go to school with morning afternoon and night sickness..But I did it anyways, because I knew I never would go back if I didn't finish now.
I graduated and soon after had my son.
But now, things are tough...I have my own place with my boyfriend too, but things are expensive and tight...We basically live paycheck to paycheck, and trust me when I say that that is Not Cool...I just got laid off, and I've handed out resumes to places but no one is hiring...But every week I still hand out resumes jsut incase I do get a call back...My boyfriend has picked up a few extra shifts though just so we're semi-okay.
And Im going to college this September.
But even that was a hard thing to decide, because that's all money I could have used towards providing for my son...But I want a career. I don't want to keep living paycheck to paycheck.
And if I could, I would wish that all that Plus a career being started was done before my son was born. Because I feel like I miss out on alot.

Think about your schooling hun, being pregnant and going to school was tough...now I'll have a 2 year old to take care of, plus studying PLUS a job, PLUS housework.
Are you thinking of all that at all?
Because that is enough to drive a person up the wall and back down to a nut house...Im 20, and somedays I sometimes am wishing there was more hours in the day, because I want a bit more me time. Sometimes I just want a week off!

What's your relationship with your parents like?
And if this is what your wanting so badly, do they know about all this? Because if this is what you want so bad, maybe you should see what their take on things are.
If the answer to that is not to tell them, then your having this child for the wrong reasons as well.
You shouldn't have one to begin with just out of pure wanting one, because that is when you run into THE MOST trouble with children...and that's not a good reason to have a child...


I think you both should get out and live your life. You both will regret or wish you'd done alot. Get involved in something to occupy your time with...something that sounds fun...painting, adventuring, camping, music, paintball anything that sounds fun.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank ProudMommyof2008 for this post: Moo 

replied July 2nd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I'm not sure what you mean by "if need be" you'll move into his house? Are you living with your parents? If you are then your housing isn't sorted and suitable for a child (sorry but parents are by no means obligated to finaically support grandchildren). I'm not saying this to be mean but rather to think about this realistically.

Also, moving in together takes a lot of adjustment and is a big step, having a baby is a huge adjustment and I just cannot imagine doing the two in one go deliberately.

What kind of job are you hoping to get at 15 with no formal qualifications? I commend for wanting to make your own money but getting a decent paying job means a good education and hard work. How do you plan to subsidise your earnings? (childcare is expensive, will not be covered by a min wage job).

Waiting might not be easy but surely it's better for your children to have a mum who has finished their studies/has their own career/has experinced life other than school and motherhood?
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Moo for this post: ProudMommyof2008 

replied July 8th, 2010
I'm 15 and pregnant. My boyfriend is older than me too, he has a house and a job so everything is going fine. But I got lucky as I was smart enough to finish school one year early but that its not all. You and your boyfriend might start to experience problems in your own relationship because of the burdens of taking care of a child at a young age. Also, you need support from parents and friends no matter how strong you are. I think that you should honestly wait and this might sound hypocritical but im going through what you want to go through and its not all fairy tale. Goodd luck doing whatever you choose ! x
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank dbo for this post: h4ca 

replied January 4th, 2013
i want too get pregnant. ....Please!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 12th, 2013
Active User, very eHealthy
You can't even use the proper form of "to". That's a prime example of why you SHOULDN'T get pregnant. Stay in school and get an education so you can afford a baby.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 8th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
dbo, you and your boyfriend could run into problems at anytime too.
There's an age gap between the two of you, so things may not go as smoothly as they are now.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 8th, 2010
ProudMommy, you obviously didnt get the point of me saying that she could have problems with her boyfriend. I said that because i know that me and my boyfriend have experienced the problems also the problems wont occur simply because of the age gap. It does not matter whether you're the same age or one is older.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied July 9th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
I say there can be conflict between age, because I have an age gap with the person that I am with too. And we clash with things we want to do or feel acceptable because of the difference in age.
You may not see it at first, like me...I saw this and experienced this 3 years into my relationship.
Age does not matter regarding who you want to be with, but it does matter in regarding different views on what's acceptable, or allowed of one another and other things too.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 24th, 2010
Okay first of all, the women acting like they know what her life is going to be like with a baby, shut up. Its different for everyone and she sounds a whole lot more ready than you all "claim" you were. So instead of all your negativity and criticism, you should be jealous that a 15 year old girl is going to be a better mother than you all. She sounds perfectly ready, and such a decision takes time to make, and if shes ready dont try to take it away from her, its her life and if shes ready then back off. You dont know her, her life, or how she is with children so unless you know what its like to be pregnant at 15 in her EXACT situation, family life and all, shut up. I respect her decision and she didnt post this so all of you could criticize.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 25th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
h4ca wrote:
she sounds a whole lot more ready than you all "claim" you were.

I don't understand how being 15 with no qualifications, no housing and no way of making a decent wage is more ready than the other posters were??! (Given I owned a house, had a masters degree and a good career, savings, a long term relationship with my husband - not that you took timeto find out the others EXACT situations, despite being a good part of your reply). However, she posted asking for advice and it would not be sensible or [B]mature[B] so advise someone so young to try to get pregnant (my taxes subsidise and pay for such situations so, yes, I am entitled to advise someone to wait).

Of course we don't know her exact life but, from what she has said, she is not ready to become a parent. Aside from the fact it's illegal in most places to even be having sex at 15, all replies simply asked her some probing questions.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied October 30th, 2010
Um good for you? Sounds like an opinion. And no, most of these posts are criticism. and you DONT know she doesnt have qualifications or a way of making a decent wage. My mom had my sister early and she was perfectly "qualified" because she had to raise herself and her 3 siblings all at least 5 years younger. And my 14 year old brother makes $3000 a month so before you act like you know this girl, think.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 14th, 2010
childcare career instead??
yeaa hun dont do it. i thought i would be ready at your age too... i decided to wait... and now im 23 and ive decided im still not ready! Nothing beats turning 18 and going out with your friends, deciding to head out at a moments notice, meeting new people, finding someone thats right for you (the guy i thought i was ready to have a child with at 15... i barely remember his face!) . . Your feelings will change about things a million different things before you turn 20!

Dont be in such a hurry to become an adult hunny, once you're there you can NEVER go back!! Enjoy your life... travel, have some fun. Then start a family with all those experiences behind you Smile

Maybe look in to a traineeship in childcare if you love kids?!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied November 16th, 2010
wbubbles121 wrote:
I've already had to do a lot of growing up and self-parenting on my own, do to other family problems. I've thought long and hard about this. I know that I should wait, but I just can't get past the urge.
I just really need advice. Please help!


Should you get pregnant at 15?... no, you shouldn't. You are still so young. No teen should ever get pregnant at such a young age. You have your WHOLE life ahead of you, Live it. You've said, you have already had a whole lot of growing up to do already so why aren't you taking this time for you? Going to school, college or university or taking a trade. Like others have said, get an education, go do some traveling, get out there and live your life.

It's apparent you don't have quite a stable plan in place. Children cost money. More money then you realize. I'm taking a wild guess, your from the states right ? To even go into a hospital and give birth cost money and it can be upwards to 3-4 thousand dollars(rough estimate, I live in canada so we don't pay out of pocket to give birth, so i don't know the exact cost down there). From your posts, you really have no idea how much goes into being a parent financially. Children grow at such a fast pace that you will constantly be buying clothes, shoes, boots.etc. What about a crib, more then likely you would want something that goes from crib to toddler bed to double bed ? Those cost 3-7 hundred a piece(even if they aren't the 3-1 crib). Then the rest of the baby furniture, playpen,change table, dresser , and don't forget a comfortable rocking chair and ottoman for those long nights when the baby doesn't sleep and is up half the night. Not to mention formula, diapers, baby wipes, stroller/infant car seat and every other necessary accessory that you would need. It adds up after a while. Just to start out, you'd probably have to dish out well over 2 thousand and the baby wouldn't have been born yet.

Then, what will happen if your b/f dumps you? In most cases the b/f doesn't stick around. Sure it's nice to talk about wanting a baby and what you'd do if you have one. Talking about it and actually doing it are two different things.
I really would love to hear what you would do if your b/f dumps you. Don't rely on your parents for everything, it wouldn't be their responsibility and it would be selfish to expect that they would pay for everything. Your 15, no good solid college/university education for a career, not on your own, no job and you haven't graduated from high school yet.

I was 22 when i had my son, he'll be 2 in march and I'm now 24. I'm also a full time college student. Do you think you'll be up all day and night just until the baby start's sleeping through the nights? WRONG. Not by a long shot, you'll have to eventually finish up high school if you haven't before having a baby, and then you'll have to go to college to have a stable well paying job. Since I'm a full time college student and a full time mum, I'm still only getting a maximum of 5 hours and a minimum of 3 hours of sleep at night. By the time I graduate next year from college, I will over $11,000 in debt. With my career choice my college course is only one year.(graphic/web artist/developer) And still, just one year of college, taking it online and over 11 thousand dollars in debt.

How do you think you are going to be able to pay for your own college or university(which is way more then college) education if you have a baby right now.

I don't regret having my son, but i was also older then you and I did have my high school diploma.

You need to think long and hard about this, If you can't even answer at least 4 of those questions without reverting to "my parents will help me", you aren't ready.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 1st, 2012
Im 15 years old and i want a baby
im 15 and i want one too and i just had a condom brake on me on the 16th of december of 2011 and i really scared and i dont know what i should do and how to tell my boyfriend
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 11th, 2012
Active User, very eHealthy
If the condom broke, he is obviously aware. I can nearly bet he won't be as excited as you. You should read the replies above, you clearly have not thought this through.
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Must Read
What happens during labor? What do contractions feel like? And how do I know that labor has begun? Read on to learn about birthing basics....
Signs of labor occur after 36 weeks of pregnancy. Learn about the difference between real and false contractions. Plus, we outline signs of delivery complicati...
Almost all women worry about the pain of childbirth. Preparing for childbirth includes thinking about how you'd like to cope with the pain of labor. Read on for...