Medical Questions > Abortion > Abortion Pro Choice Forum

Should Adoption be the first option?

Hello Girls.. I know that for most of you this might be a hard time as you are thinking about the possibilities of abortion. No one could ever make you do what is best for them or take a decision that you dont want to take. The decision is yours but I do ask to think about adoption first. There is different adoption options such as open or closed adoptions. Please research before taking the big step.

Here is a little of my story. I am 24 years MALE! My dream has always been to become a father. I have become more and more in need of this to happen. WHY? Its just something that my heart is crying for. I am in such need to provide to a child and love and protect. You must be asking yourself why don't I go for it if thats my dream. Well aside from being a male I am a 24 year old GAY male. It is hard for me to live knowing or thinking that this dream might never get passes that. A DREAM!!! So please ladies it is harder for me to know that as I dream for this to one day happen other people are dreaming on not having the child. I would love to receive responds on weather I am doing well on trying to become a father or should I just ignore my dream and continue living my reality? Please I am here to help other young or older women. If you need a friend or just someone to talk to in regards to your pregnancy please feel free to contact me. I am not here to judge and if abortion is your answer I AM HERE FOR YOU as well. Please If someone is looking for a parent to adopt your child lets become friends and you will make the FINAL DECISION. Hope everyone is blessed with a great day aside from our problems......
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replied May 20th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I agree that a woman should look at all options with an unwanted pregnancy. I think adoption is wonderful provided the woman is happy to remain pregnant and so forth.

I do not think, however, it is appropriate to attempt to sway a womans decision based on your own personal circumstances. I am sorry that you have found yourself unable to become a father by 24 but that is not a good enough reason for a stranger to not have an abortion.

There are a lot of people who struggle with infertility or do not meet the criteria required for adoption. That must be difficult but I find it has little or no bearing on a womans decision whether to abort. Of course I am talking about personal experience and that of my friends but before my own abortion (and I did indeed think of adoption) the fact other people can't have children really didn't factor into my head.

With regards to your dream, are you looking into adoption? Do you have a partner? 24 really isn't that old to have not achieved parenthood, time is on your side.

I'm sorry that women thinking of abortion bothers you given your situation but sometimes people really don't want to have children or a child at the time the unwanted pregnancy has occurred. You may not understand it but the reality is that it happens and, thankfully, women can access a legal and safe abortion if they so choose.
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replied July 6th, 2010
Experienced User
Nope, sorry, I'd still abort if I fell pregnant.

I agree that women should consider all options before deciding, however briefly, but adoption isn't all the happiness and laughter it's made out to be, at least not for the woman handing her child over.

It is not just that women who abort do not want to have children. Some women do not want to actually BE PREGNANT full stop. They cannot handle the idea of carrying another organism inside them for nine months, and giving up much of their way of life and rights for that individual. To expect someone who is not completely ready and sure they want to go through with it, to do so, is not fair.

I understand that you want to have children, and I'm sorry that you feel you can't, but I would not remain pregnant purely because a stranger desperately wanted kids. I'm not an incubator for childless couples / people.
My heart goes out to couples who are desperate for a child but can't have one, it really does. However I am not going to give up my health and way of life for nine months if I were to fall pregnant, just to satify THEIR need to reproduce.

Your own personal circumstances and beliefs should not affect other people's decisions because they are just that - YOUR OWN.
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