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Sexual Trauma from when was 17; am male

Hello. For almost 4 years now, I have been dealing with the thoughts and memories associated with my past and my first girlfriend I used to have. We were close and she pressured me into doing things intimately I wasn't ready for while lying to me about being on birth control and having emergency contraceptives in her possession. She used this as a means to deceive me into having sexual intercourse with her 5 times, but to my luck, she never got pregnant.

I am extremely traumatized from these sexual encounters my previous girlfriend put me through and although I did not become a father at 18, I feel as that in some ways I could have if she would have gotten pregnant.

This has become such a pressing issue for me that it drove me to start avoiding talking to women altogether in fear/paranoia of them being with me just to obtain my sperm to impregnate themselves with.

I am completely honest and serious about how distressing this has been for me. I am diagnosed with OCD and this particular issue is causing me so much anxiety I have puked 3 times this summer trying to control the panic attacks from the haunting memories of the sexual manipulation and dishonesty on her behalf.

Who or what can I do or speak to to try to obtain some help with my situation and hopefully find a way for me to better handle these intense emotions and feelings i have from my past with girlfriend?
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replied August 29th, 2018
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and i understand your concern. Obsessive compulsive disorder with history of such sexual Encounters can be problematic and needs to be managed with psycho therapy sessions, a good Psychiatrist, new Memories and Rehabilitation and adequate dosages of fluoxetine.

I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care

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