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Sexual Orientation Confused

Recently (this week) I have started to question whether I am truly into guys. I am just really confused. I have always had problems getting intimate with guys sexually I just don't seem to ever be able to let myself go except in sexting with my ex. He was the one guy I was completely comfortable with. But I have also started to obsessively wonder if I am not into guys. I am not into porn, it doesn't turn me on, except if it is focused highly on pleasing the girl, such as girl on girl, but I am not attracted to breasts or that and I don't think I would want to go down on a girl. Just not for me. So I'm trying to figure out if I am not into guys or just have issues with intimacy. A little background on me: I was harrassed by girls all my life, raped, and pressed charges against my best friend and ex boyfriend for harrassment due to them posting pics of me and advertising me as a [tramp]. The first guy I had sex with I thought I was really comfortable with and thought he was the same. I stopped it due to pain (first time after rape). We had sex a second time and it felt better and right, but he then stopped speaking to me the next day which really threw me off for a while. The ex I was most comfortable with and I were going to get married but we broke up last week. I have never envisioned my life being with a girl, only a guy. I don't really get along with girls due to too catty for me, but I get along well with guys and have had many crushes on guys. I remember very few sparse instances when I had an interest in kissing a girl just to see, but very select girls. And I had made out with a girl very drunk at a college party but I remember doing it because the guys we were with at the time were right there and turned on by it. Also, I always get drawn to guys. I like talking to guys and cuddling with them. I like their suppportive and strong embrace and I like making out with them and their touch but when it gets below the waist I get nervous.. I don't know if this is because I am not interested in them or if I am just having anxiety due to past.
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replied December 27th, 2013
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Hi hopelessconfusion...Take your time deciding on life...Don't push yourself...Most of all let sex be a natural thing...If you are turned on by a guy then go with it...At the same time don't think that every one of them has a right to you...By being this way this should give you an indication of your sexual make up...Relax...smell the roses of life...When you are ready to be yourself you will be...Kind of comes natural....Good luck and take care...I can tell you that when the right person comes along and it happens (either M or F) you know it...My best to you....

Caroline...
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