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hi, im a 17 year old female with a great living i apperiate everything my family gives me i am a christan which meaning i cannot have sex untill marriage.....well, i have been with my boyfriend since the age of 14 hes my bestfriend also the love of my life. well, what im trying to say is i want to express myself to him in a different way sexually, but i want to wait till marriage but dont know if i can what should i do??

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replied November 15th, 2008
Womens Conditions Answer A4884
In my opinion, every sexual behavior that cares about the privacy, is voluntary, happens between psychically and physically mature persons, holds the family harmony, and is done only for pleasure is justified.

When I talk about privacy it means that I don’t justify pornography or any other form of sexual exposure in public.

Voluntary sex means that both partners like to have sex and nobody is directed to sex by force (raping) or any form of blackmail.

Sexual partners should be psycho-physically mature and healthy which means that child sexual abuse (pedophilia) or sex with mentally or physically retarded persons is absolutely unacceptable.

Sexual activities outside of the marriage (cheating) are also unacceptable because they humiliate the legal partner, produce marriage arguments, give a bad example to children, and ruin the family.

Sexual activities that are done for reasons other than pleasure and reproduction are also unacceptable. This means that any form of prostitution is not appropriate sexual behavior.

Religious dogmas about sexuality are usually very restricted and often opposite to the modern beliefs among young people. Sex before marriage is one of the things that the Church strongly forbids but I don’t see anything wrong with that if the conditions mentioned above are accomplished. Without sex it is very hard to express your sexuality to your boyfriend. Certain types of sex (masturbation, oral sex...) won't disturb your virginity but such sexual behavior is also forbidden according to the Christian religious norms and you may also find them unpleasant.

I can only advise you to express your sexuality in a way you like and not like the Church or your boyfriend request.

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