Please i know its long but read....Okay so here's my story...
When I was 8 I moved to sc.. Where my fathers family was. I have cousins here and they were HUGE jerks(boys) to me... Everything single day they treated me like crap. They hit me bullied me...I hated them so bad...until I turned 9 the 2nd oldest boy cousin started treating me nice. Yay right? No he was too nice. He touched my face and my hair and loved to kiss my cheek. Until one day I came out of the pool and went inside to go use the bathroom..he followed me and grabed me and kissed me. Yes mouth. He told me "I love you and you love me but don't tell anyone" I didn't know what to do but I said okai.. Understand when I was 4-5 I went threw molestion..and no one knew until I was 12 years old..so I always kept my mouth shut when I was told so.. Anyways, it kept going this way.. Later we were telling each other "I love you" I always used my mums phone to txt him and say that I missed him an couldn't wait to see him..I was now 11 when we first watched the movie Prom Night.. It was our first time making out...it was amazing but..still NOONE knew about us.. It felt so right.. Later while I was 11 we started new things he was 15 and I guess his hormones started acting up.. He started feeling me up.. And kissed my neck and saw my chest... I guess I went through puberty b/c I started my period and I was actually feeling things you know...I guess turned on? Yeah.. Well I was madley in LOVE with him but things got different..he changed he stopped saying "I love you" I thought we were a couple..but when I said "its been two years since we've been going out" he looked at me and said " going out?" I stopped and said "yeah? Right?" He said " we don't go out" and then that's when it hit me he was using me..but as a 11 year old I didn't care b/c I thought he loved me and thought nahhh he loves me and were together.. Well nope my thoughts were right as first this a**whole used me.. Later at age 12 I was feeling his..d*** and he was feeling my chest Evan more..(I was more developed) and things got crazy at the age 13 I sucked his d***..this is when I knew "what this is wrong but...I love him..." He always took me into rooms and said "just do it are you scared ?" I thought I don't want him to think I'm a loser.. "NOOO!" I'll do it...I did it.. Until he got a GIRLFRIEND and it was...painful...so painful it broke my heart.. And we stopped for a while...a long time.. Almost 3 months until.."we were watching a movie..he put a pillow on his lap and grabed my hand and put it there... I felt it..he looked at me and raised his eyebrows well...I loved him and yess I did it..again..later on this year he got another girlfriend... And things like this always happened...I sucked or hand job him...Always for love.. Evan though. Knew he was using me...until 3 weeks ago...I went down to watch a movie with him when I spent the night..he has a sister (cousin she was always nice to me) ((and she's 18 and now he is 17 I am 13...)) I went downstairs and we were watching a movie.. He then said " you wanna f*** I was nervous and blown away "maybe if I do it he'll love me.." But i felt awkward and said nahh "he said "come on itll be quick" and i didnt want to b/c i was scared and felt like it was wrong... he pressured me into it and finally convinced me... I did it.. We used protection...and now we don't Evan talk..until the day I was sopped to get my period.. I am 2 weeks late an I am now on birth control (doctor prescribed it because I've had a very irregular period) and its not coming back I do know why but before I had s*x I was on it and was off of it for like 3 months and got back on it like 2 weeks ago.. I told him and told me that he didn't c*m inside the co*dom he came outside of me with the con*om but idk he always precame when I sucked...now I am just worried..I've had two morning sickness I've been eating more than I should be..late on period urination more pain in lower body ... Trust me I am not afraid of having this baby..I don't care if its retarted or defected abnormal.. I am scared of telling my parents...I took 2 pregnancies test at 1 week after s*x but they were negative I think it was too early to tell but still... My parents found out bout me and him when I was 11.. (Diary entry) and confronted me about it..but they never confronted him.. His mother was always suspicious bout it.. The rumor about is was all over the family..and it was all true.. My Parents will never let me see that family again... NEVER.. Never trust me.. But I cry every single day.. And say I should've never fell in love with this a**whole... It's my fault too not just his.. I take whole responsibility for this happening...it's all my fault but I just want to know that...if am pregnant and stupid for this thanks for reading...
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First Helper verne01
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replied June 5th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

I guess you should have known better like you say but in reality you can bear little blame for what happened. At 13 you are under the age of consent so under the Law you haven't got the right to consent to sex and so your cousin who has been grooming you for sex and using you for the last few years is technically a rapist in most parts of the world and might have to face punishment for what he did.

It might feel like your fault just now but it really isn't entirely your fault. Most of the blame is his. He is obviously a good salesman with a poor sense of responsibility. It wasn't altogether your fault for becoming infatuated with this boy or believing yourself to be in love with him.

Your parents and his must also bear their share of responsibility for their lack of vigilance and supervision. This is especially so after your mum found your diary entry.

You have been foolish perhaps, your parents and his parents have definitely been more foolish but he has acted illegally.

Your symptoms that you believe to be of pregnancy might be a false alarm and caused by stress and worry or you might be pregnant.
If you are pregnant you and your parents will need to know that for certain as soon as possible. They are bound to be angry. If they are good-hearted parents who are mostly well-intentioned they will mostly be angry at themselves rather than with you. They could not realistically expect the inexperienced child you were at nine when he began grooming you for sex to have the knowledge or instincts of an older child.

If you are pregnant his parents will also need to know.

It would probably be a good thing if everyone knew what had been happening even if you aren't pregnant.

It is sometimes possible to marry a first cousin.
If you are pregnant the chances of the baby being born with any serious defects are minimal unless there is any obvious and strong inherited conditions in your family, though it might be better if you had a termination. While it should be your choice to make the final decision about this, considering your age and the contribution your family would need to make towards childcare and support while you finish your education you should consider their opinion.
The baby's father should also be involved because if you decide to keep the baby (if there is one) he will be paying child support for a long time and the child should not be denied contact with it's father.

To help get this all out in the open you could do no better than print out your post and the replies and leave it for your mother to read if you can't face her directly.
I advise you to find the strength to face her initial anger because you could need her support and your cousin shouldn't get away free after what he has done. There really shouldn't be too many secrets in a family.

If you need to discuss things further please come back again.

Good luck!
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replied June 5th, 2013
Hello,
Thank you for reading..I didn't think anyone would take their time and reply.
My friend has told me also that maybe I've been stressing out too much and I am being paranoid about being pregnant and my mind will believe that I am.. I agree ever since I've thought about the possibility I've had ""symptoms"" Also I've texted my cousin and he always says that am not and I believe that I'm not.. I wish it's true. I feel like I've done the worst thing in the world because I never said anything about this.. My older older cousin saw this as rape too and said I had to say something before you do anything stupid I guess he was right. My mother and father would totally freak they'd never trust me absolutely never AGAIN I can not say anything.. They always think worst of me so they Evan think I was the one asking for it when It first started happening. His parents are ignorants his father is a daddy who just sits around and drinks his mum just has soo many kids with other men.. Trust this family we are talking about barley likes each other we have always had a problem ALWAYS I don't want to be the cause they are not talking again... In the last past years they have always been screams and blaming and almost hitting in the fam. All because of us the kids.. Sometimes them. Also if I am pregnant. I will never abort its the worst I can do. I would hate myself Evan more. Thank you once again..
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replied June 5th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
I think you might get more support and understanding from your folks than you think.

Adults weren't born adults you know; they have all been 8,9,10 and so forth and a few adults can remember what it was like to be that age.
When they stop being angry they will understand more than you think.

They will be angry and to some extent you will deserve it but they can't be angry for ever.
You should tell them and if you are pregnant you must tell them.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you. You will find me or other willing volunteers right here if you need us.

Good luck!
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replied June 5th, 2013
Awe thank you! I hope they won't freak on me.. Again thank you Smile
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replied June 5th, 2013
Awe thank you! I hope they won't freak on me.. Again thank you Smile
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replied May 12th, 2015
You mentioned that you don't want an abortion, and that's certainly reasonable. Another thing worth mentioning--there is a very good reason our judicial system has laws regarding statutory rape. My advice--consider adoption, where you are not simply giving the baby away, an older family would raise the child, but you would retain all parental rights concerning visitation, etc.
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replied June 7th, 2015
I also had sex with my cousin, it was when i was 14 and she was 20, she had spent the night at my parents house and in my room i had 2 beds so i was already laying down when she walked in and caught me masturbating, i also had a pair of her panties that she had taken off earlier in the day when we were all swimming, i had a crush on her and i had to take a sniff of her panties,anyhow that night she watched me masturbate and finished me off with s BJ, after that anytime we could sneak away we would have sex, it went on gor years and it was great, we only stopped because she met her current husbhusband, we get along fine and we even kid about it as a side joke that only we know about..i dont believe incest is that bad, in early Rome it was common and nothing bad came from it..
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replied March 20th, 2016
its ok my cousin who is a year and a half younger than me (me 17 him 16) started to get very touchy after something big happened with our family. when we were smaller we would just play aroung and touch eachother by accident( well i did anyways) and since then for like +3 years he has still beed trying to get to my soft spot.
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replied March 20th, 2016
its ok my cousin who is a year and a half younger than me (me 17 him 16) started to get very touchy after something big happened with our family. when we were smaller we would just play aroung and touch eachother by accident( well i did anyways) and since then for like +3 years he has still beed trying to get to my soft spot.
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replied April 24th, 2016
Hello. I've read the whole story. I really wish the best for you and I hope it works out the best way.

But... I have a question. Being pregnant to your cousin makes the baby problematic in any way or is it as healthy as what is known "normal"?
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replied May 30th, 2016
Okay so I'm only 12 and I'm in love with my boyfriend and I completely understand what your going through my older cousin David locked me in his bedroom and tried to touch me but I punched him and beat him up. I may be a "kid" still but you need to tell your parents there your #1 supporters even if there mad they will still love you and help you. If it was rape and you didn't put it in the story you need to tell someone cause that's not right and he may do it again. Now he probly won't be a good dad to the baby if your his #3 not his #1 so I wouldn't even tell him about it he may try to hurt or take the baby away. Your friend is just trying to help you believe me you know if you know your pregnant you don't just imagine it . I hope this helps you and I hope you will get through it
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