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Severe anxiety and depression

For the last year or so, I have noticed that I needed to change some things in my life in order to be happy. I noticed I was a bit more anxious and unhappy overall. But a few months ago, my best friend of 9 years committed suicide and I haven't been able to even fathom changing anything or putting effort into anything. I've never been this anxious/depressed before in my life. (And I've seen psychiatrists before and even been hospitalized before.)

The anxiety is especially bad at night. I think during the day what works me up kind of stays hidden, or it's easier to ignore it because there is so much going on, but for some reason at night I just feel so alone and it literally suffocates me all at once. I can't sleep, so I pace around, feel very depressed, can't imagine living past this, etc, etc. I also get extreme nausea for which I am taking another medication otherwise I would never eat. Just horrible feelings.

It's strange because during the day, when i'm not that anxious or depressed, sometimes I'm ok to the point I can't even fathom being depressed or not living, etc. But when I get in the moods and the anxiety comes, it's the complete opposite. How can this happen?

My doctor prescribed me Lorazepan and i think it has helped keep me more calm or almost sedated because I don't feel like i'm on the verge of a nervous break down every night. I'm seeing a psych in a month.

I'm so afraid of what is happening to me and how I just can't snap out of it. I've never felt this way before. I'm afraid of this lasting another 6 months, a year, what if it never stops? I dread the future, sometimes I look at older people and I don't understand how they've managed to live so long. My anxiety is disabling that I barely go to college now, and I can't imagine working. I can barely go buy groceries without wanting to sit in the car parked in front of the store and never go in.
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replied September 21st, 2008
You're doing the right thing by asking questions here
I went through some very difficult times due to a major surgery that left me deficient of hormones need for everyday life and so I ended up with adrenal fatigue and low thyroid as a result. The sleepless nights one after the other caused more damage and I was on Elavil, to help but thank God, I'm off all the horrible medications.

Right now, I'm on all natural remedies and try to go swimming or walking everyday and this becomes the highlight of my day as it builds my breathing capacity and makes me feel good about myself. Before starting this, I was so fatigued and couldn't even think of doing any exercise but since starting two months ago, I'm actually reversing the depression and anxiety and my family members are amazed as they couldn't imagine what could be wrong with me and now they are happy that I am slowly returning to my old self.

I try to eat nutritious small meals all day, and cut back on dairy and white carbs and all sugar and I am very diligent about taking my vitamins, especially Vitamin D, Vitamin B and Vitamin C and Calcium at night.

Please ask if you need more info.

Wishing you all the best!
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