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Schizophrenic ?

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I'm 17, and have just gone through a phase of depression that I've managed to pull myself out of.
I fell into depression because of this:

I thought I was a great person, someone special with unique insights that no one else could see.
When I wasn't able to keep up with school work I would brood for hours telling myself I wasn't living up to my standards, even though in reality I was trying my best.
My thoughts would be something like this: "I can do better, the reason I can't do better is because my brain has been damaged, by weed, ecstasy etc." I made myself regret so many things.
I would work myself into anxiety, stress and depression even though I had nothing real to be worried about.
Furthermore, life didn't seem 'Real', if you understand what I'm saying, the world felt like a wind up clock in mechanical motion.
So, I finally pulled myself out of this depression by ignoring my introspective thoughts. By introspective thoughts, i mean thoughts that would arise out of absolutely thin space, things like "You're better than that guy at whatever..." which would lead me into an endless circulation of useless thoughts and lead me to lose concentration of what is going on around me, whilst I would be trying to discern some kind of meaning from the jumbled patterns in my mind.
I would waste hours of mental energy on a daily basis. No one ever knows what goes on in my mind, I never speak it. I appear absolutely normal on the outside though. I have friends, am social, and keep active.

Also, just before sleeping, or whenever incredibly fatigued, I will hear voices in my head saying things like
"Do you know what it feels like to be used" "Don't let them their way out of this" and "Chocolate leaves around rose petal eyes"
I also get random thoughts out of the blue like "The garbage dump has specialty roast meals on saturday nights".
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replied December 9th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Contrary to what people may think, Schizophrenia is not the only reason people hear voices or have intrusive thoughts. They can come from other disorders, like depression or Bipolar disorder. They can even happen during times of extreme stress or tiredness.

Are you sure you really pulled yourself out of your depression? I think it's time you talked to someone about this. Ask your primary care doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist who can give you a proper evaluation and find out what's going on with you. It could be that these thoughts and voices are symptoms of your depression, or maybe you've been Bipolar this whole time. If you are Schizophrenic, you are in the very early stages when it's so much easier to treat. Don't wait until things get worse. Right now you are in a place where you know things aren't right. If things get worse, you may start to think that the abnormality is "normal." Don't let it go that far. Okay?

When you do go see the psychiatrist, bring a list of your symptoms and other information that the doctor might find useful:
When did the depression start?
When did the intrusive thoughts start?
When did the voices start?
Do you ever feel normal or even better than normal, rather than depressed?
Do you sleep a lot or do you have trouble sleeping?
Are you under a lot of stress?
Are you currently using any alcohol or drugs? When did that start? (Remember that the doctor is not there to judge you, he's there to help you and this information is important).
Include anything else you think might be important.

I don't think you would be writing this post if you didn't think that you needed help of some type. Go see a doctor and get this checked out. If it turns out to be just depression or stress, at least you'll have peace of mind and know that nothing more serious is wrong.
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Users who thank MyrahU for this post: hophophop 

replied December 10th, 2009
Experienced User
Just be hard for yourself, stop the fantasies. Stop your paranoid thoughts u know it aint real. I know this sound harsch, but it helped for me allot. I mean u are almost 18 now, just be hard for yourself
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replied December 18th, 2009
Do you have a learning disability like Dyslexia? This is a really important question.
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