My boyfriend and I have been dating for ten months now. We were friends for 4 months before dating. While we were friends he was the person that i could talk to about anything. I was involved with a guy who wasn't the best and we used to talk about that and anything else going on in my life. while we were just friends he used to tell me that he liked me and that he would wait for me until i was ready to be with him. When the time came that we started dating everything was great, it was like being with my best friend. but we ran into problems. His first love started texting him and i got upset. over time he eventually told me that he still loves her but in a different way now, i understand that but then he told me that he thinks that she may have been the one and that when he sees her he kisses her goodbye. I have a problem with that. over the past 5 months our communication has been horrible when it comes to our realationship. i'll get upset and cry and he'll do nothing or he'll say something mean and i'll confront him on it and an argument will start. i told him that if he wants this relationship to work that he needs to work on it too. i just feel like he has lost interest in the relationship now. he doesn't talk when i ask to talk about us, he just shrugs his shoulders alot and never gives straight answers it's always an i don't know. the most recent incident was tonight.

His ex girlfriend the one he still loves but in a different way had her 2nd baby 2 weeks ago and he was going to visit her. i asked at the begining of the week if i could go with him and we made plans then right when it was time to go he said he didnt ask her if it was ok. so he texted her and she said that me being there would defeat the purpose of them having time together. that just raised red flags to me. i got unset and told him that i was but he didnt really seem to care much about it and said so am i coming over after im done there? i said if you arn't just coming to go straight to sleep and he said ok well do you want me to just go home then? i said no and he wouldnt give me around what time he would be here and left for her place. no cares that i was upset. i feel like to doesn't care about how i feel about things.like i am not a priority on his list, that it doesn't matter if im happy. i'd just love some advice on how to move forward with this and maybe how to talk to him about it in a way that he'll listen. I have put so much into this relationship that I dont want to just throw everything away.
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replied July 17th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi Toxic_Angel and welcome to ehealth: I think the main thing for you to remember with the problems that you are having is that it doesn't matter how much time and effort you have put into this relationship, but how he feels...You can't throw away what isn't there...Take care...

Caroline
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