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PTSD - past abusive relationship

3.5 years ago I was in a severely abusive relationship that completely destroyed my life. Since then, I have been diagnosed with PTSD, am now in my last year of college, and have had a rather impressive recovery with waning nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks. In August I started dating a friend of mine I met at a New Years Party and everything suddenly became a lot worse all over again. Overall we have a very happy and healthy relationship; however, I continuously ruminate over what happened and worry that non-existent problems in our relationship will happen. I tried to get in contact with my old therapist who has since moved on to a different practice. While the symptoms are decreasing again as our relationship progresses, does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do now to help them not stress both of us out as much? Your input would mean the world to me and my significant other.
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replied November 26th, 2009
as a fellow anxiety sufferer i know how and what you are felling and what you are going through. although ptsd is not the same as gad the symptoms are very much similar have you tried talking to your current partner or even trying to get in another practise for a pysciatrist maybe going back to the doctor to see if their is anything else he/she can do. why dont you try and write down everything from your past, what you went through, where you lived , how you were brought up and etc and then read back what you have wrote bit like a biography for yourself. if it doesnt show any physical side to your relationship and your both happy in love maybe he'll understand when you open your heart to him just so he knows what you are feeling. Make a meal get a bottle of wine with some candles and set the mood with some music that might help you if confiding in him. do some relaxation run a bath etc.... didnt work for me but it might work for you everyones different in everyway hope you take this advice ..... if it hasnt helped then im sorry.
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replied November 26th, 2009
thank you so much for your reply. I have written out the biography portion as part of my therapy before, and going through that helped me a lot because I would have to calm down every time I physically reacted to what I read or read aloud.
Our relationship is stunted physically because I avoid letting it go further, and he's been very understanding about that. We have talked, and we've both agree that I need to do something.
I just want to be able to relax and stop the irrational thoughts and projecting them onto him.
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replied May 24th, 2014
I was in abusive relationship for 7 years , i did run away from him over 2 years and divorced him last year , i am in r/ship with someone who is been kind and supportive to me and my son... but i almost lost him with the way i was with him by accusing him of cheating , arguing and sabotaging any time he's been romantic or kind ... he was trying to make me happy and trying to show me how much he love me , while i was doubting all the nice things and hurting him ... but he recently couldnt take it any more and he wanted to end it , even thou we falling out lots of times and broke up for 2 days but this time it different and i know that is it and i realised how horrible i was to him and i realised that i have change and ive got to find my old self again:-)
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replied May 24th, 2014
The bottom line is we are not in the past anymore ... we are free . And your present is not the past , just let go of your past to find your happiness . Not every body the same and its about time to start trusting the man in ur life ... dont ruin it stop now and enjoy your life ... after an abusive relationship when you are with the right person , it may seem its too good to be true and you try to ruin it WELL DONT and enjoy it instead Smile
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