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Preschooler NEVER Listens

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I have a 2.5 year old daughter who can be the sweetest little girl in the world, but as soon as she doesnt get her way she turns into a totally new person. I can ask her to do something (anything really) and she throws a fit. An example might help: Every meal is served at the same time everyday at the dining room table. I ask her to sit in her chair and she pitrches a fit. "Wanna sit at my table"(she has a little blue table for crafts)". It seems like all i do is agrue with her. It is very exhausting. I love her but lately it seems like i dont like her at all. i hate feeling this way and i want to bond with her like i used to when she was a baby.
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replied August 12th, 2010
YES i can totally relate.i have 2.5 year old daughter that is exactly the same.she is very demanding and absolutly freaks if she doesnt get her own way.she also hits and kicks me.she does not act like this when my husband is there because he is very strick with her and says i have to toughen up.but my mother says im already too hard on her!!!though she can be an absolute angel sometimes.
i hate to use the cliche terribe twos but im hoping its just that!i am going to try put her ina playschool for afew hours a day to see would that help her.
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replied August 12th, 2010
It's normal for 2, almost 3, year olds to throw tantrums when they don't get their way, don't worry mom's lol. It's because around 2.5 they are they are used to 'getting thier way' from when they were younger. They cry because they want up, and they get picked up, it's completely normal. I babysit my niece, who is also 2.5, and I stil pick her up if she cries lol.
Anyway, children at this age also pick up on who the 'softer' parent is. The best thing to do is sit down with your husband and talk about what the ground rules for your child are and keep it constant. Also, work as a team. If you say no, make sure your husband also says no and vice versa. I have a lot of friends that, if they want something, will go to one parent and not the other. (Example: Jenny wants to go to the movies, she'll go to Mom because she'll say yes, while Dad will say no).
I hope this helps!
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replied August 12th, 2010
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Emma listens to her father more than me because he doesnt discipline her. I dont know how that makes snece but it is the case. I am the one who makes the rules and reinforces them but she still wont listen. She will still scream at the top of her lungs for hours. What should i do about that?
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replied August 12th, 2010
This may sound like a mean thing to do, and I don't know if you've already tried, but maybe just let her scream for a while. Granted, put her in time out or however you disipline her, but if she continues try to ignore her (I'm sorry to phrase that so horribly). To put it very simply, if she doesn't get a reaction (giving her something she's not actually allowed to play with, letting her sit at her table, ect.) she'll probably stop. It might take some time and a some fits but it does work.
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replied August 12th, 2010
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I have delt with many children that threw fits.
#1 talk to them and explain why they are to do something. You would be surprised at the understanding a child has. Same as they know that they can get their way by throwing a fit. So, yes, let them scream. Throw their fit. First ask why they want to eat at the arts table. You may get your answer as to why it is so imporntant to your child.Then a thing I thought to try was to move it away from the family dinner table when eating. The child may want that table because it is hers but, she thrives on attention and when she finds she is not a part of the family at suppertime then she will be asking to sit at the "big person table" Also make sure that eating involves conversation. She is at an expressive age and your job is to guide her to understand how to get her views and points across in a productive manner.
Just as for years letting a baby cry itself to sleep has worked. That child does not grow up to not feel love. It is just a short time and as long as they are getting love elsewhere then they will always feel loved.
You might also want ot use the table as a mid snack thing and let her know that this was because she did something good but it is only for special occasions. When she has been really good. There are a million and one ways to test and try what willl work. Any pedatrition would help you with ideas as well. Talk to some good day care personel or teachers too. Many ideas out there. You just have to find what works for you and your family.
Best Wishes:-)
Temperwolf
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replied August 13th, 2010
i went shopping with my daughter yesterday and it was just trantrum after tantrum!ended up just putting her back in the car and ringing my husband at work coz i was so frustrated.he told me just to make sure she is looking at you when talking to her or giving out coz if she aint looking she aint listening!i tried that,didnt even have to shout at her and it worked a dream.i put her back in the buggy and went back to shops and she was an angel for rest of day!!!it actually works Smile
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