Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum

Pregnant with a very unsupportive father

I am 22 and 6 months pregnant. I found out ivwas pregnant when I was 4 months and totally in shock. I told my boyfriend and he wanted me to get an abortion. I was very unsure and almost did it because of his situation. He has 2 other kids from a previous marriage. I never got the abortion and had to quit my job because I was pregnant. Now everytime I bring something up about the baby he doesn't want to be involved which makes me think that he dont care. Now I am 6 months pregnant he has yet to still tell his family or his other kids. All he cares is what other people will think of him versus to about th people that matter most. He so corcerned what his baby mama even thinks. He told me that I had to wear baggy clothes so I wouldn't show because his kids don't know I'm pregnant. I'm ready to just be done and file to child support. Then when we get into an argument he will tell me that I should have gotten the abortion because I'm stressing him out and making him feel trapped. Not once has he been to an appt I really don't think he cares what happens. I wanna leave but with me not working full time right now its hard. I've been thinking about adoption and Im unsure about it. I'm just soo lost at this point
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replied April 4th, 2011
do it on your own!
I totally understand. I am in a similar situation. I am 26 years old and 15 wks pregnant and the father wanted me to get an abortion. I thought about it, but I decided I would most likely regret it. We are not together, but we talk everyday and see eachother regularly. Everytime I try to get him involved he doesn't want to hear about it. He just shuts down and then we argue and I cry. He can come up with whatever excuses to make himself feel better, the truth is- he is just scared. I say you try to find a supportive friend that needs a roommate, or think about living with your parents for awhile. Its super scary, I know, but he might come around when the baby is born. just try not to take away your excitement of your baby inside of you. You will only be pregnant maybe a few times in your life...Why be miserable and hide it? I get sad and stressed out too, but I figure this man is probably not the person I am supposed to be with forever, maybe I was just supposed to have a kid at this time.
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replied April 4th, 2011
I agree with elliemay1234. I'm a 21 year old single mother and have a 7 month old. I knew that i was doing this alone and had tried numerous times to talk to the father of my child but he just simply ignored me or would say things and agree just to make me happy. In the end, he wasn't there for her birth and i have just lost all contact with him. You may think you need your partner for support but if he's just gonna avoid you like that, then there is no point in trying to convince him. At least he knows so for noe, just try and focus on you and your baby. There is nothing more important then the well being of your unborn baby. My biggest regret was trying too hard with my baby's dad and not really focusing on myself and what my baby needed. There are always other people there to support you whether it be your family, friends or even your doctor! In the end, he realise his wrong and it will be his loss, not yours!
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