I'm writing here because I have no one to talk to. I am 17 weeks pregnant and feel so trapped in an unbearable situation. It's all my fault of course, I should have known better than to start dating my fiance. I knew he had a troubled past, and was supposedly a recovering addict. Turns out he has been using all along, with every time I catch him promising to stop and get help. Well, idiot that I am I got pregnant. Seems he's been worse than ever since. He's stolen from me and my family several times. When we talk about his problem or breaking up, he gets very angry and becomes threatening. It's very scary. I feel trapped because I don't want to go thru the whole court thing and have some judge let him take my baby just because he's the father, not caring that he's a drug addict and violent. I also really don't know how I'll pay all the bills and take care of a newborn by myself. Do I have him stay so I can better protect my baby, or have him leave to protect my sanity (somewhat)?
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replied March 2nd, 2013
allowing a violent drug addict to stay in your home and your life is not "protecting your child". I would do what you can to scrape together any resources you can possibly muster and find a competent lawyer to advise you in this situation, and help you secure the optimal custody arrangement for your child. it is unethical to bring a child into an environment with a known drug addict.
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replied March 7th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

Fact: addicts tell lies and you shouldn't believe a word they say - judge them only on their actions.

You need to be away from him as soon as possible. Life on welfare isn't a picnic but it is possible and it will be easier for you to care for just one dependent and the baby isn't going to tell you lies...

As you aren't married to the father he has no automatic right of access to his child though he does have a legal duty to provide child maintenance. You don't even have to name him on the birth certificate though child support would be impossible without it.
He could apply to have himself named as the father and in theory he could apply to a court for access and even limited custody but in order to be successful he would need to demonstrate to the court he had received a recognised course of treatment for his addiction and hadn't taken drugs for at least a couple of years.

I strongly suggest you get some legal advice about your exact position and if any local laws affect things.

I also strongly suggest you don't attempt to discuss things with him again and simply leave without warning and leave no forwarding address.

Good luck!
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