Should I leave?
No
Yes
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I am totally new to this and need some help. My husband and I have been married 2 years and together over 10 years since high school. We have had our ups and downs and finally settled down, bought a house, got married and planned our baby. I was so happy and excited after a year of trying. He was just shocked! I thought it was funny at first....
He isn't sensitive at all to all the things and changes I have gone through and only has been to 2 doc appointments with me. Never talks to the baby or touches my stomach, asks how I feel. He did do a couple of nice things for me like cook etc...but I'm sure it was because he was hungry. Honestly its like "fend for yourself" kind of attitude. He doesnt lift things for me or offer to rub my feet or back when I complain over the pain I'm in. My mom helps with the house but he def. does NOTHING. He can't even throw out the trash...do anything for nursery (have to have fights)...I guess he feels we have ALL the time in the world. This just isnt what I pictured. We had some family issues and his mother wasnt happy that I was pregnant which added to the sense of HELLO AM I THE ONLY ONE excited about the baby?? It's just so, so sad. He doesn't ever stand up to his family even though he has admitted she is wrong.

It's not that I think he doesnt want the baby....I just don't know why he acts like im not pregnant?? He pretty much has stayed home and not gone out but mostly because we always hung out with MY friends and obviously I can't go out if I'm pregnant. So he went out a couple of times. The first time he lied about where they were going and came home late. Second time came home late. I feel he has no need to lie to me and if I'm already feeling lonely why do that to me?? I feel anxious all the time and lonely and like I'm just not welcomed by anyone except my own mother and brothers.
Shouldn't we both be taking pictures, planning our nursery, going to doc appt together or pregnancy classes??? I feel alone in all this. WHY did we plan the baby if this is how he was going to be?

I understand the pressures he's under financially but we planned it and I work too!He promised to take time off..(after my !**@!) as he calls it....NEVER happened. I just feel so pathetic. He of course hasn't touched me since I started really showing...no kissing even! SO...........i HAD IT one time he came home late and he said ohh my batteries dying call so and so...why right before he's suppose to come home?? I was so angry. I just wanted to cuddle with him! I def dont want to keep him here all the time with me but COME ON! he was out for more than 7 hours!!! THATS ridiculous. So I said just stay with your brother......I can't deal with you right now....HE comes home banging on every door. Throwing things at window acting all crazy. He even text me I want a divorce you stupid wench...its over...give me my keys so I can go be single...etc....HORRIBLE things. I finally let him in and he starts cursing at me. He was in the wrong and he's like this is MY F** HOUSE, YOU DONT DO ANYTHING, YOUR NOBODY, WHY SHOULD I LEAVE? basically saying im nobody and mean NOTHING. I said Im pregnant with your child and Im you wife how can you kick me out?? It's my house too!! I completely BLACKED OUT AND FREAKED OUT ON HIM. I lost all control and grabbed a vase and just hit him in the head!! BLOOD everywhere. I felt like I wanted to die what had I done?? He said he was going to call the cops etc...I did nothing but try and help him with all the blood but he wouldn't let me. He tried to leave but I said no...I'll take you to hospital...He PUSHED ME TO THE GROUND (IM PREGNANT!!) almost slapped me but stopped himself...he said its over...your crazy...your a mistake....get the heck out...and he shoved me again and knocked me over. Called me a NOBODY said Im NOTHING and got super close to me I thought he was really going to hit me and SPIT in my face....I crumbled to the ground..he got in shower and threw everything at me literally! I have bruises on my legs and my butt bone is sore from being shoved to the ground.how did we get here? We have pushed each other and yelled but not in a way to really hurt one another so this was all happening so fast! I was in shock and honestly could've jumped off a cliff at that moment.
My thoughts are I'm pregnant and he hurt me..what is he thinking (yeah I know I pretty much almost killed him with vase)..but still THE BABY???
He got in shower and pretty much laid on the bed and I helped him wrap it up.He did call the cops but then hung up. What he's going to send me to jail pregnant? He hit me too! It was all just so shocking! We have never fought like this.

I just lost it....he had no consideration for me after I WAS trying to be nice and understanding and he said he wouldn't lie to me again. I just feel hes taking advantage of the fact that im pregnant and he feels he's (GOT) me and can get away with anything because I can't DO anything about it. He doesn't spend time with me but he def. NEVER misses hanging out with his friends twice a week for more than 4 o 5 hours either playing basketball or just hanging out. WHY???? I don't get it! It's not fair and I feel so pathetic like I'm begging for his attention. I just want my husband to love me and spend time with me. He just doesnt want oo...so I feel ugly and kind of resent the baby because I feel this started happening with the pregnancy. It's horrible because I love my baby and I can't wait till he's here but then I think about all the horrible things that could go wrong and how I DID NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS because of how my mom was a single mom and he assured me it wasn't going to be like that and he's a great guy in general and he even made a harsh comment on that. I don't care what happens to you I just want to see my kid every day he said. His words are like knives....Where do we go from here? He doesnt' really talk to me...I started doing a 40 day challenge to better myself. He's just so mean....I feel like with me he's a different person. Like he HATES me. What should I do?....where to begin? I admitt my faults but I def. think it the pregancy because NEVER in my life would I have done something like that to hurt the man that I love but I just lost it. literally. I am trying my hardest to understand him and love him not because he deserves it but because I made a decision and a promise to God to be with him for the rest of my life. Will he forgive me? Is he going to recognize his faults? should I just leave? I'm scared for my baby and our future.... this is becoming nightmare situation I dreaded from growing up with out a dad. I just want some support through this time and some excitement for goodness sake over the baby.
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replied July 26th, 2014
Hello,
Would your husband consider counselling?? I dont kno what else to suggest. Im in a similar boat as you. We are not married tho, dont even.live together atm
We had our first and probably last counselling appointment tonight.
It didnt go well. She says we have A LOT of work to do for the rest of our lifes if we want this to.work.
I had hoped the counselling woukd have helped, and I think it.could have if I didn't go in so.negatively.

Ive been three the violence, before the pregnancy and overcame that. Thats a choice you need to.make on your own. Thats not healthy to be in, and deffentaly needs to be addressed. Counselling sounds like a good start, maybe u need a middle person to relay thw message to your husband, they tend to not really hear us sometimes.
Hope thi.gs look uo for you soon.

How far along are you now??
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