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Pregnancy after abortion and miscarriage

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in april of 2007 i had an abortion, i was like 15 weeks pregnant and it wasnt exactly my choice. i was 18 and was with a realllly bad guy. yet i still regret it everyday!! then that august i found out i was pregnant again w/ the same guy and i decided i wanted to keep it, well at 8 weeks pregnant i had a miscarraige. the worst experience of my life-to say the least. now im going to be 21, im with an amazing guy and we want to try for a baby. i never told him about the abortion or miscarraige an dim not really sure if i should!?! okay so for a long time after the miscarriage i just felt like God was punishing me for having an abortion. im really worried that because i had an abortion, i dont deserve to have a child. is it possible i wouldnt be able to bare children becuase i had an abortion and i miscarraige?

ps. do you think it would be important to tell the guy im with now about those past experiences?
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replied October 16th, 2009
I think if he is really a great guy, there should be no issue with telling him. He shouldn't judge you for something that's in your past, especially since it sounds like you made the most responsible choice at the time. But, really, only you can decide whether or not to tell him.

I'm definitely not an expert with this type of thing, but I think that if you had no complications after the abortion it shouldn't cause any problems with future pregnancies. A lot of women miscarry early on in a pregnancy (like you did), so that may not necessarily be indicative of any sort of problem. But I think at this point talking to a doctor would be best. Tell him/her about your history and they can probably give you a good idea about whether you will have any issues. They may also give you tips for trying to conceive (e.g. finding out when you are ovulating). I think the only way you'll find out for sure whether you are able to conceive, though, is by trying.

I also don't think you should worry about not deserving a child. I am not trying to impose my beliefs, and I don't know all the details of your story, but it really sounds like you were making a responsible choice for yourself by avoiding having a child with a man you did not find suitable. Maybe you should talk to a counselor. You can call "Exhale" 1-866-439–4253 if you want to talk to someone ( It's all confidential, and they don't try to impose any sort of beliefs or judgments on you.

Best of luck.

Also, here's some info on getting pregant: egnant/
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