Hi There,

I'm looking for guidance in dealing w/ the father of my unborn baby. I'm currently 7 1/2 mo pregnant, and the dad exhibits signs of bipolar disorder. He's almost 50, no kids, never been married, and he was excited about the baby in the beginning, but then the seemed to flip a switch 5 mo. ago and I was to blame for "trapping him...planning this...ruining his life..." and the best comment he made was telling me that nothing has made him "want to die more than you and this baby". His mother is so excited about the baby, and she has said, "You'd think he's the one who is pregnant w/ the hormones...somedays he's happy and we can talk about it, other days I can't even mention it". My birthday was last week and out of the blue I received an email and a birthday card in the mail. When I contacted him questioning how he'd like me to respond (since the last emails and phone call were so harsh), he responded with, "What I said was, and still is true..." but then 7 hours later I received another email stating that he "...has accepted this situation and is quite happy about having a son..." All I said in my email was that he needed to begin w/ an apology and then we could move forward. His response was that he "will always be the one I blame, and I will always be hurt..." I'm not hurt, and I've never blamed him...all I wanted was an apology for his hurtful words before re-engaging in communication w/ him.

I'm at a loss w/ how to deal w/ the mood swings, hurtful words and accusatory comments, then receiving the casual communications as if nothing had been said, then the hurtful words again. I will be seeing his mother again in a couple weeks. Should I mention possible bipolar disorder? Shall I be concerned that he may harm the baby and himself after the baby is born?
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replied April 12th, 2009
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How long have you two known each other? Was he this way before you got pregnant?

Good grief, he needs to get a grip on life and behave and be nice...
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