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painful break up: 6 Years and it's Over

I have been with a guy for 6 years and we ended the relationship two weeks ago. I think the break up has long been due as we have been going into cycle of fighthing, threatening to break up, making up then reconciling - hoping that we can resolve our issues together but eventually the same issues will surface later on and we will fight again. I was told that my solution to everything is breaking up for the last 5 years and he stood by me, however, at this point - he felt that he is too emotional and that we needed space to think things through. He said that we have tried everything to solve our problems but nothing worked. We're both tired and too emotional and just too damaged I guess. I have realized that although we have been together for the longest time, we have grown apart and that although we still love each other - it is enough to make things work. Simply because we don't want the same things anymore, I wanted to settle down while he feels that we are not yet ready. However, I think that nothing really prepares you for marriage because no one really knows what's out there for the two of you - the most important thing is that there is commitment to stand by each other and be strong for each other.

He said that I always find mistakes in everything that he does and that everything is not enough for me. I told him that one of our issues is that I don't feel emotionally secured because I always initiate our plans of settling down, he said that also wants the same things but he also feels that I am not helping him out. THis year, I told him that if things are not going to happen, I think it's time for us to move on with our lives, this I know is very wrong so I told him that I didn't mean what I said and that it's wrong for me to demand that much, I also think this took a toll on him and he was very hurt. He would always bring this up everytime we fight, I am really hurt to have heard this and assured him that everything I do and say is not an attack to him but just expressing my feelings too. I asked him not to give up on us and work things together because I still really love him and that I am willing to adjust. But I think we have both reached our limits as he demanded for his space. I said that I respect that and that I will wait as long as I can until he is ready to deal with it. I told him though that I cannot wait forever

Christmas time makes it even harder, he did't even send a text message. Overnight, this person changed and that's hard and very painful. There are still nights where I find myself crying to sleep or intervals in a day where I will have a meltdown. I know that in time it gets better and that people kept on telling me that there is a bigger plan for me.

It has been day 13 and I feel so lost. I do a lot of things with this guy for the last 6 years and it hurts to realize that I wasted everything, I could have been a little more patient, I could have been more understanding or encouraging.. I could have been so many things but instead I chose to break up with him too- I pushed him away but I swear I begged so many times. I guess, it's just too late.

But isn't it.. that even on the hardest time, you don't really give up on the people that you love? No matter how hard the situation is.
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replied January 3rd, 2016
Hi LittleBluPill,

My heart & care for u goes out to u. I was pushed away & it hurt over 2 years ago. I pray that ur emotions will be healed & it takes a long time. It takes a long time for me as I still feel a lot & there are so many memories . Hopefully u will have a friend who will care ,listen & support u & not judge. I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving her & had no part in the decision when she decided to push me away. Be gentle with ur self & I pray God 2b with u and comfort u as grief is very overwhelming. My prayers go out for u & pray u will be able to sleep well. i know i didn't sleep well for the longest time. also had dull chest pains from apr -nov of 2013. LOVE AND HUGS Earl
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