I think my husband of 10 years is suffering from a mild form of bi-polar disorder and it has led him to leave me. This is the third time in ten years that he has had some sort of breakdown and then he announces that he "needs to take care of himself, whatever it costs." It came suddenly and unexpected this time, and it has hit me hard. At first he said he wanted a divorce, then after I pleaded and begged and said he was being rash he changed it to a trial separation and he states that he "the old me is dead and a new me is being created." He also states that when he is finished becoming the "new" he will decide if he wants to get back together and if he does then I can decide if I will have him. When he takes this "it can go either way--I don't care" attitude I feel so dejected and alone. How can he be so disinterested? He acts like it's perfectly acceptable either way. Meanwhile, we were having a loving and connecting relationship right up until the time he had some sort of breakdown and stopped speaking to me for around four days and was crying constantly. But now he is invigorated and happy and living his "independent" life while I am literally a broken woman. At first I tried to keep up my regular commitments and just try to pretend I was okay, but I am unable to. I was doing an extremely boring temp job and I have quit it because I was crying on the job. I was also fired from a once a week evening gig I had. All I want to do is stay in bed and cry. Everyone says that I don't deserve this kind of treatment and that he lacks empathy and is clearly not giving me what I need. How can he be so happy when he knows I am suffering so much? (I have told him.) If he is in some kind of mania, it is too mild to be clinically diagnosed (not spending crazy, keeping his job, not talking fast, etc.) It is more like he became overwhelmed with a depression and now he is maniacally trying to fix the things in his life he thinks were wrong. He has done this before, but he has never taken it this far or stayed away very long. Right now it has been almost two weeks. I am finding it difficult to get through each day.
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replied May 18th, 2013
It sounds like he may be bipolar and maybe some other issues. He needs to see a doctor and try and get some help. As for you, you need to take care of yourself. I have lived with a bipolar mother for 60 years and I also have a bipolar sister 54. My father just died and both of them were very cruel at the hospital and the hospice. I had to leave to try and keep some peace. I did not even get to attend my fathers funeral due to this. This brings up some very hurtful issues from my childhood, but I know that I need to go on and live my life. I turn to my faith and our church also has a recovery program. Most churches have these and they are free to everyone. Please get help for yourself and God Bless You
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