Hi, been with my boyfriend for a year now. He's always been a very hygenic person.. washing his hands after touching anything thats potentially 'dirty'. He seems depressed about his body, and thinks everyones looking and laughing at him about it. When there guenuinley isnt anything wrong, he looks great. He worrys alot if his routine or whatever doesnt go to plan and is very particular/fussy about a lot of things. Recently he's been turning down sex because he doesnt like bodily fluids.. even when i suggested condoms. To me its kinda ruining the relationship! I just wanted an oppinion, could it be OCD? or am i over reacting? How can i help? i tried talking to him, he just said his mum drilled the handwashing and cleanliness into him from a very young age.

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replied February 25th, 2011
Hi, I decided to comment because I've been trying to fight obsessive compulsive tendencies myself.

Not to be funny or rude, but if a man is turning down sex, I would tend to think he's dealing with some unreasonable fears. It sounds like your boyfriend may at least have OCD-like "idiosyncrasies" that are interfering with his daily life. These may or may not get worse with time, depending on several factors. My OCD got way out of control before I recognized it as such and could figure out how to correct it.

The best book I have ever read about controlling compulsive thoughts and behaviors, is Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz. The concepts in that book will help anyone, OCD or not, to be more productive with their thinking and get more joy out of life. They've worked successfully with many OCD people and shown it to be effective. They've done imaging of the brain that demonstrates the chemical changes that take place for the better in people who do this cognitive process.

So you might find it interesting to read about and perhaps ask him if he can relate to any of the examples in the book.

All the best to you,
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Users who thank CASufferer for this post: Girraffey91 

replied February 26th, 2011
Oh great, I'll certainly have a read.

Thanks for replying.
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