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Obsessive thoughts about a person...

I'm not really sure where to put this, it could probably go a number of places.

I dated the same guy for almost 4 years. We are somewhat broken up at the moment but he wants me to stay with him. The problem is that I've developed an unhealthy obsession with another guy. We have been talking about meeting up but, truth be told, I don't think he's seriously interested. He responds, he flirts when I flirt, but I think he's going back to his ex. I have reasons for thinking this, I won't bother to outline them because they don't change the fact that I'm obsessed...

I really wanted to hang out with him and get to know him better but I don't think that's going to happen. I know, in my head, that it's stupid, this whole thing is stupid, but I'm still anxious. I keep checking for messages from him and whether or not he's gotten back together with his ex.

I try to tell myself to hang back, let him make contact with me first if he wants, but I know that he won't...so I continually reach out to him first, afraid to let the connection go.

I'm kind of going through a rough time (family member passed away) and I'm lonely. I miss having physical and emotional companionship and I'm all but alone right now until I can return to where I go to school. I'm going back Tuesday for almost two weeks but the time feels like it's passing so slowly that Tuesday will never get here...I know that's the anxiety talking...

I don't know how to stop this feeling. I've had it happen before so I know it'll pass eventually but I don't want to feel like this ever again... =(
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replied August 9th, 2011
That happened to me once awhile back. It really does take awhile to get over it, and I don't really think that there's an easy way to either. But man, I felt so free when I wasn't worried about being accepted by that guy. And honestly, they just like the attention; they eat it up. They're not worth it and you deserve better. You just need to find a hobby, or a great tv show to distract yourself with. Relax and go with the flow. Develop some lasting friendships and you won't feel lonely. When you have those, you'll have people conacting you for a change. Now-a-days, I just go with flow with guys. I flirt like crazy because it's fun, but only get serious if I'm absolutely sure he feels the same way. Trust me, you can tell when a guy really likes you. Trust your gut, because it's usually going to be right. He probably doesn't like you that way - it doesn't mean he doesn't like you as a friend. Just that you're not the most important person to him - so don't let him be that important to you! It will be hard, but you just have to push him from your mind. Just try to live life and something amazing is sure to surprise you. You might still be anxious and stressed about life, but atleast it won't be about some silly boy.
Hope I was a smidge helpful! And if it makes you feel any better, I'll pray for you tonight. I wish you the best of luck in getting over this, and I really hope it never happens again because it really just sucks so bad. Anyways! Good luck!

P.S: I'm just a little confused though - there are two guys? One you dated for four years and one you are fawning over? I would pay attention more to the guy you were with for four years, but probably just stay really good friends with him since he obviously still cares about you. While the other guy doesn't really seem to. Anyways, hope I was helpful. Bless your heart I know this sucks but you can do this! Good luck, I mean it!
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