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Now he is acting like he wants sex but never ejaculates...(post

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Some of you have been very helpful and very responsive on my last post about my boyfriend masturbating more than being intimate with me. Thank you but once again I need some opinions. Another lonely subject I have that I need to share and need both the women and the men to be brutally honest. I have been in a lot of pain over these intimacie problems for some time now and I could really use you all once more. So, as I wrote in another post we got into a big argument about his porn usage and my feelings about our intimacy. Shortly after he decided to change his act and started to seem as though he was interested in me and we started to be much more intimate.he new the severity of how I was feeling and the crazy things I was doing (spyware) were for a logical reason to me and he does care about how i feel. At first I thought it was great and was happy that for whatever reasons he was changing. Maybe he didn’t know how I wanted the intimacy and just simply bringing it up bluntly was all I needed to do. HOWWWW EVERRRR... the past few times we have been intimate he has not finished can’t understand it. It makes me feel bad when we are done after long periods of time doing the deed and he does not have an orgasm.im ok with not, but I feel like it’s not normal for a guy not to. Especially when this was never a problem before the intimacy issues came to play. Am I wrong for feeling just as lonely, unsatisfied, undesired, as if we were back to not doing it at all? I left the house today in almost tears since for 2 days this has happened and I know he will be watching porn and having an orgasm to the TV girls since he complained about his balls hurting from not going and"thats why masterbating was invented". I know that sounds really immature but sadly that’s how I’m feeling.my first thoughts are paranoid and i think to myself he eaith a already watched porn and did his buisness for the day/night or its just an exuse for it to be ok to do so. I dont feel that way. im his women and he is supose to have orgasims with me. I know as a women i sometimes dont and fake it to please him..but that dosnt mean im not enjoy it and its a problem i have always had not with how i feel about him.hes always telling me he produces alot of tetostorone(cant spell it) well ware is it other then his bad attitude at times? he also us to be able to go 2 times in a day with me so im really just not sure whats going on. how to you want someone and feel in the mood like he is suddenly acting to me but not have an o.guys im sorry but can you tell me whats your take on this? minus the pressure that has been put on our intmacy whay else would this be going on. and i highly dought there is any medical problem...i yi yi i hate this. THANK YOU
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replied March 10th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Honestly truthhurts84, you need to stop this stuff.

Orgasm is an involuntary response to stimulation, same as sleep or defecation. You cannot be angry or hurt by someone who isn't able to do something they have no active control over. If he is not giving you advice or instruction on how to provide him stimulation that you're disregarding, then you are doing all that anyone can ask of you. His orgasm is his responsibility.

Certainly if you love him ask him what's going on with his inability to reach orgasm, suggest he sees someone if he doesn't have an answer but stop making this your problem and for the sake of your relationship stop making his failure to reach orgasm something he's doing to hurt you.
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replied March 11th, 2010
Community Volunteer
A woman can control her lover's orgasms...If he struggles then she can help....However, this must be done in a very careful way with never taking the power away from him as the leader...You can't let him see that this is a new happening with aging...You see whether they admit it or not, men struggle terribly with the "age thing".....This is a fact of life that has never been explored and should have been....Only knowing and having lived all these places in life can you speak of them...For me it's a been there and done that part of my life....Take care...

Caroline
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replied March 11th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Earth women cannot control the male orgasm. The belief that this is true is why truthhurts84 is beating herself up about this. Women can absolutely help and there are a lot of different things a woman can do in that regard. However orgasm is a team sport. If one partner is having struggling, all the kinky tricks the other partner knows may not be enough. We are responsible only for our own orgasm. We should always be grateful for those who offer help. It is not ok to be hostile when others fail to make you cum and you cannot allow yourself to feel badly because your partner didn't reach orgasm.
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replied March 11th, 2010
Community Volunteer
Porn and masturbation can control a man's orgasms...What he gives to the screen and to himself cannot be duplicated...His mind is another place and possibly with a hot woman on the screen...Yes, earth woman can control a man's orgasms...That is if she has control of her man and she is his only lover....
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replied March 11th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
CarolineEF
A woman can certainly restrict a man's orgasms. Given enough duct tape and handcuffs one could restrict the orgasms of a very wide number of people. However if a man is not in control of his own orgasm it's ludicrus to imagine someone other than him is able to cause him to reach climax. Nothing I have experienced seuxally would allude to this. Even prostate milking will only overcome physical resistance to a male orgasm.
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replied March 15th, 2010
Sexual addiction (Reference author Dr. Patrick Carnes) in men can manifest itself as a self-medicating behavior compulsively used to avoid emotional intimacy - this could be compulsive masturbation, or psychologically blocking orgasm. Whether you feel he meets addictive criteria or not, you might want to consider your own risk for developing co-dependency in trying to fix someone who doesn't feel they have a problem. At the very least, you should be more concerned about your emotional well-being than whether or not you can "make" your boyfriend orgasm. Relationships are about two people, not just one, so if he won't accept that his behavior is a problem for you, then you should consider if you're actually IN a relationship.
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