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not myself anymore, i've fallen into a cloud of depression.

i've fallen in a cloud of depression that i never felt before. i became so ugly that it's a lil scary. i'm turning 19 and i just can't find myself anymore, i'm depressed all the times. fear of even going out before of depression, the way people would look at u and what's going to go through their mind when they see such an ugly person as me. it's scary because even my own family doesn't look at me the same anymore, and the people that used to say hello to me doesn't recognize me anymore. They say to not listen what others think about you and that it's your personality that matters but all those stuff doesn't even apply to my condition anymore . i always had a big ego and for someone like me to say these stuffs, that means i really mean and feel it from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes when i think of my life then w/ all my friends and how they look now, i jst wanna stab myself, how much can things change or maybe i jst don't belong in this world. I feel like i'm trapped in a dream where i can't wake up. I need all kinds of help right about now otherwise i don't know if i would survive this ugliness.
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replied February 29th, 2012
Experienced User
Hello Henri,

What you feel you say is depression. So, are you getting treatment for it? If not thats the way to go as this doesn't just go away. You have to work at it with medical and therapist assistance.

You're describing a perception of an extremely bad self image and while people do react to superficial appearance they tend to warm more to who you are, not what you look like or appear to be. Once you break that barrier of getting to know people.

Feeling as you do too will show externally and that is off putting in itself so changing how you feel about yourself will help tremendously in that regard as well.
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