so my oldest cousin is getting married this saturday to her boyfriend of 4 years and I'm NOT a bridesmaid...I dont know why it bothers me so much, she called me the night he proposed to tell me....me and her and her sister were and have always been pretty close since childhood(or so I thought). We've only recently become slightly distant due to different colleges. I've been very excited for her but I cant help but feel slightly dissappointed that I'm not in the wedding...I guess I thought we were all closer Sad And I found out tonight is the bachelorette party, and I wasn't even invited to that! As happy as I want to be for her, I am kind of bitter. I feel like family gatherings aren't like they used to be, things are sort of awkward...and as much as I dont want to admit it, I am upset about the whole thing...anyone think Im overreacting?
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replied June 22nd, 2008
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No, I don’t think you are over reacting. When you love someone and have a close relationship with them, it hurts to be cut out of major events. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and it broke my heart.
The thing is just with weddings: its chaos. It’s invitations, photographers, venues, seating plans, accommodation arrangements for family that doesn’t live nearby, outfits, hairdressers etc, etc.
It’s impossible to keep everybody happy. I couldn’t. And obviously your cousin couldn’t either. I’m sure that she loves you very much, and it wasn’t her intention to hurt you at all.
But that doesn’t help much, does it? It still hurts.
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replied July 16th, 2008
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I don't think that it's over-reacting either. Have you told your cousin how you feel? Watch out for resentments, though (feeling anger over and over and over again about the same issue)...from experience I know that they are more damaging to YOU than they are to her.
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