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Neurological or Psychological need for space

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My sister recently stated that she does not like pressure on her body from other people's body parts. Like at night she doesn't like it when her her husband puts his legs or arms on her body. I am kind of the same way, only its with my legs, which I attribute to him trying to lay his massive defensive lineman-muscular legs on my scrawny twig legs. She says its not because she doesn't like him holding her, she just feels claustrophobic. She gets a kind of panicky, fear of suffocating, fear of the feeling of her body parts falling asleep type thing. She has been like this her whole life, but it is just harder now that she has a husband. It seems to only happen at night. She can hold her baby just fine, cuddle her hubby just fine during the day, but at night, she has to have her space. We both wondered what this could be, mental, neurological, physical?
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replied December 30th, 2008
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Re: It is what it is
jjjaspar wrote:
I wonder if it matters what it is called. She doesn't like it, and that's all that really matters. We seem to label everything as a "disorder" or a "problem" but is it really a problem?

Sometimes I want my space. Sometimes I want to cuddle. Sometimes I simply cannot stand the heat and contact of someone else as I sleep even if I don't mind the dog. Is that psychological? Neurological? It is just the way it is. We humans sometimes need our space, and some more than others.

It sounds "physical" to me and she sounds normal to me.
While I completely understand what you are getting at, I still do not understand why she NEVER wants to cuddle with her husband at night. Neither does she understand it. She was hoping to get an answer from her doctor and she did. She has been diagnosed with RLS which explains a lot, she needs to move her body and her legs and being pinned is like death to her. Thanks for your imput though.
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replied January 10th, 2009
My wife wants to be hugged and held all the time, me I don't like hugging or being held, I find the covers restrictive and the room too warm, I sleep with half my body out in the cold. But, I like to hug sometimes. I like to be touched sometimes.

I don't think your sister has any real issues, it's just how we are, I need my private space, so at night when everyone else is asleep I sit here either typing random replies or playing games. I worry over things and work out how to do other things and think of random ways to fix or break random things. Everyone needs their little bit of space, has thier little dislikes and pet hates. It's really not something to worry about.

Some people might say she wasn't loved enough, or loved too much, or embarressed when she was a kid with a hug or perhaps someone once caught her by surprise and now it tricks her mind when someone touches her there. But all of these things are little things. And not the kind of things to worry over.

Is that a ring in your lip? That gotta have hurt...I don't like jewelry...does that make me mad tho? Wink
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replied January 27th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
This is neurological. She would need psychotherapy sessions like CBT to overcome this problem.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
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