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My suicidal fantasies have slowly been evolving into homicidal

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They include me going out in a columbine style attack. I have become obsessed with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold because in my opinion they were victims of their minds like I feel I am. I would never harm anyone at this point I think at the moment I am just suffering from grandiose homicidal fantasies. My mind obsesses over things meticulously. I'm a quiet person in real life with a busy life; work, gym and university. I'm 20 and have been dealing with depression since I was 10. I've always been obsessed with 'death' as it were, imagining I was dying from cancer at the age of 10 etc... my doctor thinks bipolar disorder could be a factor because of my extreme mood swings. I suffer badly from maladaptive daydreaming which easily takes up 2 hours of my day everyday. I was placed due to a rushed decision, on Prozac for a month. Now myself and a doctor have started anew.

I want to tell my doctor about this.. the homicidal fantasies and obsession with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and connecting with them on an emotional and psychological level. I don't want to be put away or anything. I have an amazing boyfriend and family.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to actually be signed off the sick.

I live in the UK. Will he refer me to for a psych evaluation? (I've visited CAMHS before but left that evaluation when I was younger..) will he extend my sick leave that I am currently on? Any advice would really help....
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replied July 4th, 2017
Just searching this forum for a friend. Her daughter recently attempted suicide and I was hoping to find suggestions or treatment that could help her. I was surprised no one replied to your question when you posted this, but I wanted to find out how you are now. Have you managed to conquer your demons? I hope you have found the strength to get through these awful feelings.
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