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My mom is overly sensitive and easily offended by opposing opini

I just want to start this by saying that I love my mom and I don’t mean anything bad by her and I don’t have any hate toward her at all. We are completely opposite people but at the same time we have a lot of similarities. I’m a very logical and rational and she’s very sensitive and irrational. I think about the bigger picture of things whereas my mom only thinks in the moment.

My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship growing up, she gets offended very easily, if I ever said anything that didn’t agree with her opinion she got very sensitive about and would end in a huge argument. She gets very hard to talk to when she wants things a certain way or thinks things should go a certain way.

Eventually I learned that I just needed to agree with her even if that was not my true opinion and once I moved out our relationship got better, we talked on the phone every day, she became my best friend, and then she moved into the same apartment complex as me, now this has never been an issue for me, I love having my mom so close to me, I would go over everyday to check on how she was doing and eventually I started to feel tension when I would go over, like maybe I was spending too much time at her place and she was getting annoyed with me, which does happen with our conflicting personalities, But that is my fault, I know that I have to keep myself detached from her and stop involving her in as much as I do and concerning myself in the way she reacts to those things.

Currently my mom and I are arguing and it’s because of a different in opinions, At first I was trying to decide on if I should just agree with her so it would avoid an argument or if I should just tell her how I feel. I decided that I would start by telling her “I really don’t want this to turn into an argument but I don’t agree with your opinion and I have my own” I felt really good about this, I didn’t see that my response was bad as I am entitled to my own opinion just as she is. I was wrong. She got very offended, I called her to see if we could work this out before it turns into an argument but that didn’t work either, she was extremely rude to me and said “you have your life and I have mine” which is her way of telling me to stay out of her life. This is not the first time she said this, she’s said it many times before when we would argue.

One more thing that I don’t really know what to think of is that my mom will want to spend so much time together doing everything together and then she starts to make friends with someone around my age (right now it’s her boss. She’s within a couple years from my age) and once she starts getting closer with them she pushes our relationship to the side until they aren’t friends anymore and then she wants to talk again. I don’t know, it’s just really weird.

How do I deal with a mom that is overly sensitive and easily offended?
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replied July 10th, 2018
Extremely eHealthy
An odd personality. Come closer, but stay away? She is set in her ways and anything you say will not change her mind. When you do not agree with one of her opinions, just let it slide and change the subject. My guess is that when new friends run into the same obstacle they drop her, and that is when she comes back to you. I wonder if there is a way of pointing out to her that this personality trait is what is losing friends for her. She would obviously disagree with that too. Oh well!
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