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My long distance girlfriend has been suffering from Bulimia

I live in Indiana and my girlfriend in Oklahoma. We've been together and happy for quite a long while now. All of the sudden last month, her attitude changed and I could tell their was something wrong. She wouldn't tell me. I worried that it was about the relationship and that she was looking for a way to get rid of me. But, she still talked to me every day and would randomly have days where she was so happy again and would talk about marriage and our future. That being said, she would tell me that she had a problem she had to fix and wanted to take a break until she fixed herself. I began giving her distance, and it was hard because I still didn't know why. 2 weeks ago she confessed to me that she had been losing weight in not the healthiest ways possible. She had gotten cast in a musical and was disappointed when she joined because she saw herself as the second biggest girl in the cast. So she started exercising and eating right, but when she slipped she slipped hard and began purging. I was comforted that she finally told me what this was and had nothing to do with our relationship. I pray for her every night and she occasionally gives me updates. She told me that the only emotions she feels towards anyone or anything are anger, disgust, and apathy. She assured me that she didn't hate me and I didn't disgust her so she only could feel apathy towards me. I know there is little I can do to help her except support her at this time. I feel bad because I told her that I still felt like she was pushing me further and further away. I told her if she wanted me in her life, she had to make the effort. After telling her that, she has been more of an initiator in talking. I still worry for her though due to stress of school and the musical. She's done with the musical this Saturday, and she graduates a month from now. She has told her friends that she is going through something (I'm one of 3 people to know the truth of her problem) and that once she gets through it, she wants to come back to me, if I'll have her. I want to help her. I want to tell her how much I love her, but she's so mentally affected that she can't stand hearing these things. General compliments are hard for her to accept as well because she doesn't feel proud of how she's reached her new weight and looks. It's even harder since we are long distance and I can't be there to physically comfort her. I love this girl and I remain hopeful for a future with her. I just want to know what I can do to help her more. Is it likely that her mind will return to normal some day? I have some friends who have told me that I need to move on, because waiting won't help. I just don't know what I need to do. I want to be there for her.
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replied April 11th, 2013
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Hi: Your friend needs help...Now that she has started this it has become a habit...Her problem will be whether she can stop it...

This disorder plays with your mind...Nerves are on end and you really don't like yourself...She must see a doctor and come clean about it...She must learn to eat the right food and exercise...She has to change as she is messing with her body...

In reality she is not losing weight as she is not eating...She is purging up everything to be thin...She has to understand this..

The longer she goes the harder it will be to find her way back...She must learn that this is wrong and not a substitute for getting thin...

Yes, she can return to normal, but not until she rids this disease from her mind...I know..I lived there...

My best to you....

Caroline...
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replied April 14th, 2013
Thanks for your reply, Caroline. I am going to do my best to begin to convince her to receive professional help. Is it unnatural for her to push me away so intensely though? I know she's in a tough place, and she has told me that she appreciates my support, but we have gone from nonstop communication during the day, to one or two text messages and they seem short and distracted. Is it normal for her to only be able to feel those negative emotions towards the world?
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replied April 14th, 2013
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Yes, because she is in a non-accepting mode...Most of us when we are like this have to fool ourselves...We hesitate admitting that we have this problem...It is too disgusting so we run away from it...We live in self denial and when we do this we swear this will be the last time...We play our own mind game...It takes strength and resolve to conquer this and this is not easy....It must be taken one day at a time, but so many can't get past the first month...

The longer it goes the worse it can be...It really can be pretty big and only get worse...Good luck...She is fortunate to have someone who looks out for you as you do...Take care...

Caroline...
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