Today is my birthday not one phone call or happy birthday from family or friends. My boyfriend and father of my children blew me off and turned off his phone. This happens everyday, but today just hurts worse. My kids could probably care less if im around or not. Im never happy I have no friends and rarely have contact with anyone other then my kids I dont know what else to do. Whats the point of living if i have nothing to live for
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replied July 14th, 2012
Hello, I know the pain of not being cared for and I know how it feels when no one celebrates your birthday, or even remembers.

I have always remembered my friends' birthdays but for the past 10 years, no one has ever called me or wished me Happy Birthday (my mom even got angry once when I reminded her!)

I think firstly, a lot of people (surprisingly) go through similar situations which is NOT to say that its OK or anything at all, but to say that there are people who will read your post and understand and empathize. We share your pain.

Also, regarding your kids...if they're young (teen and below), they're probably immature and don't know it's your birthday. When I was young (before the age of 10), I never even knew the birthdate of my dad.

Also, if you think your kids don't love you. I can tell you that is wrong. My mom and even myself even, for 16 years, thought I didn't love her... but on the seventeeth year, it just hit me how much I really did care for her and I never realized. Sometimes children are so wrapped in their little worlds, they don't do much for their parents or show love - but believe me, if you leave this world, they will (I ASSURE you) be motherless and they will miss you sorely.

My friend who was never kind to her father, lost him a few years back. And she tells me everyday that "you don't know what you've got till you lose it." and she feels so much pain and regret that she never got the chance to show it to him. Your kids love you, even if they don't know it or they don't show it. Believe me.

You have something to live for.
Your kids. But more importantly, live for what makes you happy. Don't think too much about them (easy said than done, I know). But killing yourself is NEVER the answer.

If you're ever that close to doing it, run away to somewhere you've always wanted and do the things you've always wanted to do...and THEN see where you're at. The world is too wonderful for you to leave it.

One last thing, I wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, truly! Smile
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replied July 14th, 2012
Thankyou... Its not just the fact that its my birthday this is my everyday life. I cant drive and my kids are very young so Im stuck in my house 24/7 nobody ever visits and i never leave except to go to the store. my kids love me, I know, but they dont really like to be around me probably because im so depressed. I feel like such a failure. Im 23 with two kids, and live off child support. Im a college dropout and am unable to work because of my lack of transportation and help. I have no family or friends. My boyfriend is the only person I talk to and he refuses to help with the kids physically and is always talking down to me even in front of them. I feel like nothing. There is no way out of this hole and if this is what life is about then its not worth it
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replied July 14th, 2012
I guess my misery is so deep not even strangers will reply
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replied July 15th, 2012
in the same boat...
where do you live?
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replied July 15th, 2012
colorado u
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replied July 23rd, 2012
please seek help before you develop something more serious like me. i know it hurts for u right now but i developed depersonalization disorder from depression and anxiety and everyday is a living nightmare. i would give my arms and legs just to be normal again. as it stands i feel like as souless robot going through the motions of life and never experiencibg it. im not trying to antagonoze u in anyway genuinely concerned u might turn out like me if u dont get ur feelings in check.
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replied July 25th, 2012
I know exactly what you mean, my anxiety is extremely high as it is, just going to the store and being around people makes me extremely nervous. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I want to get help and have thought about it, but i have no resources or babysitter. I feel uncomfortable just talking to people in general. I have friends that stop by every now and then, but I have pushed most away, or they just cant stand out much of a zombie i have become. Im just here. I get depressed alot, but then i get into a faze where im just completely emotionless and my mind litterally goes blank.
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Tags: Depression
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