My name is Kyleen and me and my fiance have been engaged for about 4 months. We have had a past, and he broke up with me in dec,2012. Then he was really controlling and emotionally abusive and would always call me names, and would control what i wore, such as no mis-matching socks.
We got back together, because he wanted me back, and that was January,2013(this year). He promised me that he wouldn't watch porn anymore,because he has me, and we have sex basically whenever he wants. I don't like him watching porn, because he gets sex whenever he wants it, and he has me, and it hurts and makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Well, I found porn on his phone a couple days ago, and we got into a fight about this. He said "I dont see what the big deal is", and now we haven't talked for a couple days, and I dont know where we stand. He also tried to get me to compromise with him. He said "well if i can't watch porn let me talk to more girls", and I said no. Then he said "well if i can't watch porn, then let me read my adult cartoon stuff". I said no to that as well.
Even his phone background was an animated girl with big boobs, it wasn't even me, nor both of us together. It was an anime girl with big boobs. I made him change the background.

I think he is ADDICTED to sexual appeal and sex.
When we were not dating for the month of december, he made a craiglist ad "looking for sex", and he also messaged many girls off craiglist to have sex with, and he recieved many pictures from girls on there. I found this out, because when we got back together I went to log into my email account on his computer, and it showed his emails and I saw "sex", and i wanted to check it out..

I honestly have no idea what to do..
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replied March 21st, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

He might be addicted to porn and that might be affecting his behaviour but somehow I don't think so. I feel his immature and "laddish" attitude is somewhat natural and what is driving his desire for porn and suchlike.

Having such wallpaper on his phone and having porn files also on his phone ready to impress or shock his work colleagues or drinking cronies is quite typical laddish behaviour. His attempts to control the way you dress and other aspects and his name calling and now his assumption he has the right to look at porn has all the hallmarks of a personality that is immature and poorly adjusted to life in the grown-up world.

He might eventually grow out of these things and begin to see you as a person and not as a scolding mother or a sex-object but my daughter recently tired of waiting ten years for a similar miracle to happen.

I suggest you think long and hard about being engaged to this man - but not too long...

Good luck!
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