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im 24 and didnt grew up with my dad... he left us for another woman, and they are still together.

he didn't support us even financially for years that made our life really difficult, but we were able to survive that.

i have forgiven my dad a long time ago, i studied well and was able to finish college without failing any subjects. he did support me financially during my college years.

recently, i took up some examination in thier state and i stayed in his place for a month (he wants me to stay there, the first time that i will be living with my dad). i'm uncomfortable. all those times all i wanted is to go back home. everything went back to my senses, all those years of pain because he left us plus the fact that im living with his wife that took everything from us. the hate i thought that was long gone started to blaze up.

i passed the exam, and told him that my bf is coming to fetch me and that i am leaving, because we just agreed that i will stay there for the examination. he agreed but when my bf arrived, he wanted me to stay for some victory party, (but that party is actually his son's birthday party, he just included my "celebration") despite that, my bf and i still left as we planned. (i don't know if he just dont like my bf)

my dad thought i did it on purpose... that i want revenge and to make him feel really bad. but i didnt do it on purpose, i just wanted to go...i dont feel at home in his place.

he started to tell everyone in the family that i have caused him pain and that i chose my bf instead of him. (but that's what he exactly did to us, he left and made a choice. now im making mine)

i have no intentions of hurting him or something, i just want to be independent and decide on my own, im 24, but he keeps on saying he want to catch up with the time, and spend time with me, but i think it is too late...

my dad is not talking to me now, what will i do? i love my dad despite what he did to us. but it just kills me that he cant understand me now.
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replied March 7th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
At least your dad is still talking to you after he left you but my dad didn't talked to me at all my mom is the middle person anything that we needs to convey we do it through her, my parents gave me up to my grandad when I was 3 days old and I am the first born giving the reason that I creid a lot.

Physiotherapist, let your dad cool down first give him 'space' maybe he is still angry about the whole situation, I'll do the same as you did, not to say what you did was either right or wrong however do what you think you need, want and must do. Follow your heart but listen to your 'mind' balance what you think is negative and positive. The part where he blamed you and said that you're doing it to spite him, he is only saying what what he thinks (he might not know you that well - in my opinion). Meantime just do your normal routine and try to keep in touch with him anyway everyone makes mistakes, it's part and parcel of life. I you think that what he did was wrong try not to say it's wrong but 'educate' him in a way by showing to him that you're not like him and prove to him that you're not spiteful. Good luck, pm me if you need to talk.
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replied March 7th, 2008
Experienced User
thanks a lot!!! actually i don't think someone would even bother to read this, but you did, thanks a lot! i just wanted to let it out... thank you...

i know im wrong in a way, because no matter what happens he is still my dad. but there are things that really hurts and i just hope that he could understand that in a way i also have the right to feel.

im sorry about your story too, but i believe that everything happens for a reason.

again, thank you for your time....
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replied August 26th, 2009
my dad is evil
my dad left us for another woman also, they are still together. they had a daughter who he does everything for. he bought her a mercedes and a bmw, she is only 21. i have tried to have a relationship with him, but he is a evil man. he thinks it is my moms fault. she was dying of cancer when he left her for that other woman, how could that be her fault? he went to her hospital room and told her wished she would hurry up and die so he could get on with life. my other sister and i just started talking to him a few years ago, he helped us both get new car loans. we have had the cars for 3 years with no late payments. my sisters husband got layed off so there payment was 2months late and my dad is threatening to take the car even thought she has since paid it and it has not been late since. the jerk could have offered to help out or something. i hate that man. i have a hard time standing up to him, have never told him how i feel and i want to SO bad.
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replied November 8th, 2009
homo
ur gay =]
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