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my bipolar ex left me on mothers day with no reason what to do?

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I am so hurt my boyfriend was first my bestfriend for a year and yes it was always different to me. like in nov.2010 when I first told him I was inlove with him he disapeared for two months and came back in january to tell me he has feelings for me too and was now ready for a relationship. mind you he is 22 and im 33. didnt think much of age because he was always cool and was mature to me. in feb. he told me he love me too we went and got each other names tattood on our arms it was really great how its been because I loved him for so long. I saw he changed alot with his attitude, things he'd say then forget he'd say them or promises he never kept but I kept holding on because when he was with me it was always great. I didnt really understand much about bipolarism so I fiqured half the time he was just using that for an excuse for his actions. anyhow the most recent episode was may7th we ate had fun watched movies and he'd just came back in my life after taking space for about 3weeks prior to that day. he apologized for hurting me and said he love me and is now ready for the life we talked about and that the past would stay in the past. I was unsure at first because he had made me cry alot, said hurtful things and changed his mind so much and lied so much that I never knew what to believe. but I love him so much I took him back because he seemed so sincere. He wanted us to have a kid because we lost our first kid a while back. It was great to see and hear that the love of my life really on trak with all this. so back to that night it was great a week straight, nothing but love and etc...yes a couple situations with the ex of his being pregnant and random girls calling his phone but he said it was nothing and that he here. so I let it go. then that night after the movie went off he got up abruptly and sat there looking blank. he was quiet and tears started rolling down his face I asked whats wrong he kept saying he didnt know. I was scared because I seen those tears b4 and that blank stare. I knew he was about to change. I said please talk to me. he then got aggrivated said stop talking to him im making it worse. I then started to cry because I didnt know what could have happened that fast. he kept pacing then sat down. he said talk to him...I said ok im lost arent we ok, arent you gonna be here? he then got quiet again.didnt want to talk. I just got more hurt because i knew I could be pregnant and here he is like he bout to leave me. I asked was he leaving me he said no. then 3hours straight he didnt talk to me. kept saying leave him alone and then when i layed down he was getting dressed silently so I wouldnt notice. when i looked i cried like are u really leaving just like that? he said yes and I said what about our baby. what about u saying you ready and why u came back in my life just to do this in a matter of days he said aint like he planned it! I was so hurt and in shock I just slapped him..i know that was wrong. he just said dnt worry im leaving..all calm and numb like he didnt even know who I was! like my pain was nothing!and he left..he text me 10minutes later but i was so hurt i just deleted it and txt him how bad he hurt me and i am in shock he did this to me and a day later i wrote him a letter in detail how much pain i was going thru and how i hated him for what he did with no explanation. its been two weeks now almost. and now i wonder should i say anything??? because I love him more than anything but at the same time if he really loved me wouldnt he have reached out to me regardless of what my letter said? im just lost and in alot of pain because I knew he changed at times but didnt know bipolar meant at any random time, i made the mistake of thinking it was just an excuse. im not sure about anything except i miss him and it hurts!!!!!!!!! but he said nothing, no call, no text no nothing just like i never existed!! but we were so close and inlove but maybe it was just on my end. im always the one chasing him everytime sumthin wrong even when its not my fault but how will i ever know if he love me for real if i never let go to see if he gon come on his own..male o female need some real advice because i am truly losing my mind. i feel sick not being with him. i love him so much and always helped him with money etc..because I hated to see him down but he never seemed to care about my pain or tears. am i crazy? or do he just not love me? I want to call or text or write but if i do what is that really showing that as usual im the one gon come running no matter what. he juyst left not caring that I could of been pregnant!! thank god finally yesturday my cycle came cause b4 then i was really crying like what am i goin to do having another kid on my own. but he dnt even know that im not pregnant! I mean what guy does that?? was he never my friend, was this all a game..i miss him tho and my heart aching but at the same time i dnt want to be a fool somebody anybody please a little advice..im drowning...
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First Helper Reggiane
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replied July 24th, 2011
Experienced User
I feel terrible that nobody answered you. My love is Bp as well, or so I believe because he fits all the traits perfectly. What happened to you happened to me as well, he just gets up and goes, there is nothing I did, nothing different, he justs decides it is not working, he doesnt love me, whatever, after he comes back, he has done that again now, got another woman, like last year, this time i said to him that we are not going to see each other again, he calmly replied, ok.
The hurt is umbearable, I dont know how he can be so uncaring and even knowing I had an operation last monday. He calmly tells me he has another woman, but 'it is nothing serious'. He has huge intimacy issues, cannot hold hands, cannot kiss, she will soon see. His other 3 women in the past left him and literally put him out of the house. But I still hurt.
The fact is, your ex might have come back already, they all do. It depends on you to stop the madness and not to come back to him, they do it again and again.
Hope you are all right by now.
Im suffering like mad. But it will go too.
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replied July 24th, 2011
It was so kind of you to respond to me thank you kindly! yes he did come back a month later but not really because he had the nerve to text me..TEXT ME! all he said was hows the baby doing then I told him I was not pregnant thank god..he acted as if it was no big deal at all that he broke my heart and walked out my life!! he said he apologize and I said can I atleast get a real apology face to face or atleast a phone call he then got a attitude told me think whatever I want to think and that was it....my friends told me he did not look hurt at all that he was going on about another baby he was having with someone else just like i never existed to him..it hurt more for the fact he diod it the way he did it..but i just said the hell with it and cut all contact and havent heard from him since..I missed him for a long time but when I saw how he just had no feeling about the matter it just made me realize that it was pointless trying to make him see what he did...he truly wasnt sorry at all and maybe one day he will be..idk but at this point i really dont care..he hurt me tremendously!!!!!!!!and i will never forget that but I will never ever talk to him again even if he ever does decide to come back and really care..I am so sorry u feel the way you do..hope you be ok..no you will be ok!!!!!
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