Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

Moving out of a mentally abusive home at 16

I'm 15 years old and for the past 3 years it has been like hell living at home. When I was about twelve my brother got kicked out of home and he was only 16, it killed me to see him leave because he's the only one who understood me and I never get to see him anymore as he has moved to the gold coast to live with our father. He suffers from depression and the cause is what he went through living at home and I see myself going down the same path. I get abused mentally everyday, I have been pushed to the point of self harm and I used to make myselfthrowup becaus widths things my mother says. I know I am not fat but at the timei did t understand and it was too tough. I have stopped cutting but I have come close again, the only reason I dontis because of my boyfriend. He's good with helping me deal with everything and his older brother helps a lot too as his girlfriendwentthrough the same thing. I have been threatened by my mother multiple times, so many I cannot even estimate. She has threatened to hit me, leave me stranded places, and threatened to kick me out of home. She is pushing me into a state of depression by the crude comments and insults, the threats and sometimes she will deprive me of food for up to 4-5 days and not let me come out of my room other than to go to school where I have talked to councillors, teachers and other people I trust like my only friend, my boyfriend and his brother. I have called kids help line multiple times but I know Otis time for meto move out, it's getting too much for me now and I need an escape. My boyfriends family has agreed that if I choose to move out they will let me come and live with them, as they took in their others sons girlfriend when she was kicked out. The eldest son and his girlfriend will be movin out when my boyfriend and his mum move house and they have said I can come stay with them when I am 16. I have talked to councillors and they say this is probably the best des vision to make buti still do not know if iris legal and what legal documentation will be needed if any and odi will be supported by centre link. If someone could let me know this information or send some links it would be really appreciated. Thank you. I just need some extra help.
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First Helper verne01
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replied August 25th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

You need to know the law where you are as there are local variations to many laws.

In the UK and across much of the west a person is considered an adult at 18. This is called the age of majority.
Below that age a person needs to have a parent or guardian's permission to do almost everything except make a baby.
The exception is where a child has been made a ward of court and the court or an official agency is a surrogate parent.

If this is the case where you are it means you will need permission to leave home. As it is unlikely your mother will give her permission you might have to join the ranks of those who have left home without permission. In most such cases absconders from home aren't pursued by the parents.

I suggest you write to your father and ask for a letter from him giving you permission. Such a document should satisfy the authorities if they become involved.
Alternatively you can apply at a court of Law to be made a ward of court and then ask permission to leave home. Depending on where you live you could also ask the authorities to place you in local government care.

If you are near a court I suggest you ask to speak with the clerk of the court when he isn't engaged in assisting a judge. Generally the Clerk to the Justices is a clever and helpful man and in a magistrates court usually the only legally qualified person there.

I hope you find this helpful and encouraging but please do check to discover the law where you are.

Good luck!
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replied August 25th, 2013
Thanks for the help verne01,
I have tried to find out the law where I live (Queensland Australia) but cannot find it.
My school councillor is not too sure on the exact law but thinks it would be the right way to go if it is legal. The girl I know who moved out at 16 was pregnant so there is a whole different side and problem that she had, I'm still looking because I know that it will be the best choice for me but only if it is legal. If anyone else knows the laws involved for where I live it would be really helpful, I would also like to know if I would be forced to live with my father because if I will then I am going to say no as he is a 'drugo' and an alcoholic.
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replied August 25th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
A law court, a lawyer or a public library will be able to tell you about the law where you live. Even a policeman should be able to do this but policemen are not the best choice as they usually have a hidden agenda.

Failing all those things an email to the seat of your local government should do the trick.

I think Australian Law, unless there are local variations, will be similar to UK Law and you are likely to be able to leave home and live in appropriate accommodation with parental consent.

As your brother lives with your father because your mum threw him out he will understand something of what you are going through and might be able to persuade him to write a letter giving you permission unless your mother will. It sounds as though she might be glad to be rid of you.

I hope you get what you want. I hope also you have given some thought about providing for yourself and helping with the bills where you will be staying...

Good luck!
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replied August 26th, 2013
Thanks, I think I will have to get him to sign a letter of consent because my mum won't let me leave because she would know its what I want.
Thank you Smile
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