Medical Questions > Mental Health > PTSD Forum

moving foward from past, house ocd etc

i cant exacly say what my conditions are. but i know that i want more than anything to break free and look to the future.
I had moved a few times, and i saw it as a way as moving fowards with myself and issues, then i settled into an area that i loved and could call home, eventually i was getting through alot of issues until i felt like life could be stable and i could begin a life, that didnt last long at all, as i was told to leave the property due to maintanence issues that was not even my fault. Since then, i didnt want to leave that particular spot, but there was nothing for rent around that area, i felt heartbroken, and as part of my ocd or ptsd, i had to find a new spot so i could keep being "free" the thought of going to anywhere id already gone, made me feel ill. I had no choice but to leave, i went somewhere new but i was sad, i couldnt accept the change as i was happy where i was. but i had felt like i had run out of spots, i couldnt handle being away from the water either and that was a big issue, i ended up going back to a neighbourhood i had been before only, it was a new spot if that makes sense, but i feel like i have not moved foward with myself, it doesnt sit well with me, how do i feel better here, i want to go back to where i was in the "free" area but on top of that, its not just where the place is but now i have issues with the type of house it has to be, it cant be the same as anything ive had before plus it needs to be near water and this is making it near impossible to move anywhere, plus my son goes to school around here so i have restrictions on how far away i go. i have dealt with the horror of the past but all i want is a sense of leaving it behind and starting new. its important to me. its turned into ocd now with everything and i feel ok with being here but only coz in my mind im going to go somewhere else, but where and how without going completly further out which is unknown to me, i need to find away to move foward maybe without literally moving but if i had stayed where i was or moved to a new spot where i was i woulda been fine. it may be irrational but it had helped me this whole time and now its biting me in the ass, i didnt expect to move so many times but it wasnt always my choice.
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