Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum

9 months pregnant and depressed

I know that I'm more emotional than usual but i do know that i am so very depressed with an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Here's my story, I'm almost 24 years old, I just graduated college a few months ago and plan on embarking on a career once life with the baby settles in. I live with my parents (which i'd be doing anyways until i found a job post college). They are older, retired and VERY ready to have their first grandchild especially since they had children later in life. I pull my weight around the house, i'm not freeloading. They also have a very spacious house and have put together quite the nursery for the baby, i'm lucky in that sense.

I was in a serious loving and committed relationship for over a year. I was VERY in love with him and when we broke up, it really tore me apart, it was my last semester of college and due to time and distance it was best to break up even though it hurt like hell. So in order to bounce back and cope i went out with friends, partied, and went out with a lot of guys. I started "talking and hanging out with" my first boyfriend (from high school). It was so much fun and it took my mind off of everything. We loved getting to know each other all over again. We were never physically intimate in our history but now we decided to be. This was about 2 months after my boyfriend and i broke up. Soon after i had slept with him my ex and i started talking again and going on dates. I found out i was pregnant. I weighed all three options HEAVILY. My ex was there for me through all my various options (much more so than babys dad).

The ex is in medical school about an hour away and the babys dad lives 5 hours away. I've been back in a relationship with my ex, however i see him maybe twice a month and it's VERY hard and i talk to the babys dad maybe once a week. I'm happy with the amount of time and communication. My relationship with my ex is stronger than EVER. I know it sounds like i have a pretty good situation for the situation i am in. For awhile my depression had to do with having a baby with someone other than the man im in love with (even though i did nothing wrong, i didnt cheat on him), i still had overwhelming feelings of guilt.

Throughout my whole pregnancy i havent been able to enjoy it, i hear congrats and i don't feel it. I don't like being isolated from going out with my friends, i cry everytime i see a pregnant couple, i get frustrated that my parents occasionally treat the upcoming baby like it's theirs. I wish i had someone to be a real team with and make important decisions with. I hate going to appts alone and seeing others with their significant others. I hate not having an equal other to share those few moments of excitement. I feel guilty if i emotionally unload on my boyfriend since it isnt his child, so i just don't. My parents don't get how i feel becuase they had children after years of marriage. I feel SO alone no matter how much love i have around me, just because there is no one else to even come close to feeling how i feel. Sometimes i can't get out of bed, i have trouble eating or even having an appetite, i feel guilty for not being excited the way my friends and family are.

Is there anyone else who, despite the help available, is still feeling more lonely and depressed than ever?!
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replied November 20th, 2009
You are not alone!
I'm so sorry you are going through this but know that you are not alone! I'm almost in the same situation (30 years old, 9 weeks pregnant by my ex boyfriend who I broke up with two months ago (we were together for 2 years)... only thing is that I do not have a boyfriend now. I was "dating" someone but once I found out about that I was pregnant with my ex's baby he kind of just dropped off the face of the earth, which is understandable to me. I feel an overwhelming feeling of loniness, despair and depression and guilt. I'm only 9 weeks pregnant 31 more to go and I'm feeling like... what the heck did I get myself into??? But when I think about everything and lay everything out on the table -- I realize that I can do this and so can you. Yes, it's a very lonely position to be in, especially at appt time Sad I totally understand where you are coming from and it's easier said than done but... try to keep your spirits up for yourself and your unborn child. I'm trying to do the same.
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