iv been in the military for about a year and half and more then ever iv become depressed and lost so to speak originally i had joined the military to create a better life for my fiance and i but while going through my mos school she broke up with me and iv been crushed ever since. shes blames the breakup on the military and that i left her and that she couldn't take the distance when i finally got home after all my basic training had been covered we continued with a form of relationship mostly physical and have been dragging it out until we finally broke ties early December. i first noticed my depression to kick in because i felt like iv been living a double life every weekend i would go home share some good times with my friends and yet every Sunday night id have to go back to base and id lay in m bed hating every aspect of it because of how much i wanted my old life back and how much i despised the corps for my loss of the person i cared for the most. over the last couple months of dragging are broken relationship out she has moved on yet im still causght in the past at a place i don't want to be over the last few weeks before we broke ties thinks had become very emotional for me and because of a lot of drama iv lost the support of my friends im excluded from almost any activity that's done as a group. which is understandable because in essence i was the cause of the drama before everything hit there peak in early December i went to my doctor and was diagnosed with depression and prescribed an anti depressant but i really didn't take it because i was afraid of abusing it and shortly after i became suicidal because i felt like i have lost everything my friends my love and im stuck in the military where i don't want to be because i blame it and myself for everything that has been currently happening. now more than ever iv been feeling alone and lost and extremely depressed and constantly thinking of talking my life again because feel that i have nothing left i feel like im at a block in my life as i watch everybody pass me by and move on with my life and just want to be done with everything
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replied December 31st, 2009
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hun leave the military . don't ever force your self to do something you don't want or something that makes you feel unhappy. when you plan your future plan it for your sake not for the sake of any one. you are the most important. its your life its your future and it should be the way you like it.
your life is more important than anything or any finance. you need to be happy. do what ever makes you happy. leave the military . and start your new life. new carrier or go to school. every thing is hard when it comes to the first step but once you start it would be easy. you are not forced to be in the military. but plan for your future. but a plan what your going to do when you leave the military ...first sec..... save some money . get a new job have fun get your life back.
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replied December 31st, 2009
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Hi usmc1988,

Thank you for writing to the forum and most of all thank you for your service to your country. We need you and every sacrifice you have given we appreciate. If I thought you were a quitter I would say leave the military, but you aren't a quitter, you are a brave, courageous, unselfish, strong man who's personal plans didn't develop as he had hoped. What do you do now?

You regroup, form another plan. Being a soldier is not the real problem is it? A soldier faces, the possibility of death, injury, fear, loneliness, seperation from loved ones and family. A soldier, also despite all of these things, march on. He/she has that uniqueness that no other human has, the courage to answer the call of the country's need.

The fact that you didn't take those ant-depressant pills says one thing about you, you can do this, you have the stama to take the bull by the horns, look it square in the eyes, reach deep within and find yourself. It says you know there is a problem but you are a conquer, you are a U.S. Soldier and you are a survivor!

So now you have to change the plan for your life, before it was with your fiance, (she chose not to be apart of that)you carry on, despite the pain and the loss. Your job isn't the problem. What if you were a pilot, a traveling salesman, a truck driver? It takes two people to make a relationship work, you are minus one.

Your life has purpose, no one is watching your life pass you by nor should you. You have the respect and admiration of millions of people, I am one of them. Everytime you put on that uniform it should be a reminder that you are special, you are a HERO. What do hero's do? They get going when the going gets tough. They, despite their own pain and fears, carry on until the job is done.

Have a heart to heart conversation with your 1st sergeant, Commander and tell them how you feel. IF you feel you can't talk to them, talk to your military buddies, they probably can relate to what you are going through, don't be embarrassed. It is more common than you think. The purpose is to get you better, not to be judgemental.

Something you mentioned earlier about suicide. suicide is a permant solution to a temporally problem. Millions are counting on you to stay the course, get the job done, come home and prove to them all that it takes more than a broken off engagement to stop a HERO. WE are here for you 7 days a week, 24/7, 365 days a year.

I want you to rethink what you wrote earlier, and if you feel the military isn't for you and you want out....you will forever and always be my HERO. Keep us posted.

God Bless,

Faded Rose
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replied December 31st, 2009
usmc1988,

Faded Rose says it best. I'm retired from the USAF and can tell you that it was the best years of my life. You have the opportunity that few people have. To travel, learn and make friends that will stay with you as you progress through one of the noblest careers offered today. I can tell you about my situation involving divorce but will not bore you with all that. I will say that it will get better with time. You're luckier than me cause you entered (if I'm correct) right out of high school so all of your peers are your age. I didn't join until I was 27 so trying to find a relationship wasn't in the cards for me near as much as you. The best thing I can recommend is to seek out your mental health professional on base and take the prescribed medications for god's sake (I took prozac and it did help and was not addicting.....it just provided a bit of a crutch to help me through the heartache I felt for about the first year and then I was able to wean myself off of it). Then I would strongly recommend taking advantage of your education benefits, going to social mixers, getting out and exploring the local sites and events (especially if you are stationed overseas). Like faded rose said, you apparently are NOT a quitter. Posting your concerns here proves that. You are just going through a really rough time right now and believe me I can sympathize but it will get better as time marches on. Eventually you will make friends that, if you stay on for additional enlistments, you will run into again years later and that makes it all worth it alone. God Bless you usmc1988 and thank you for making the commitment you have in these most trying times for our nation. My prayers will be with and for you.
Semper Fi Marine!!
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replied January 2nd, 2010
just want to add: TAKE THE MEDS; they are not the sort of drug that people abuse.
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replied May 7th, 2010
I too developed depression symptoms a year after joining the military and i was persribed Wellbutrin which I am still taking. I love the military life, but there are times I feel that it has changed me for the worse. I can''t explain the feeling, but I would like to stay in. I hear/see a lot of military members become depressed (and quite a few have never been deployed to have the whole PTSD thing), then they get out and suddenly they''re happy again and don''t need the meds anymore. I''m not saying that will happen with anyone, but some people forget that military is a 24/7, 365 day way of life and that it can be really stressful because of different shifts or constantly PCSing or being deployed for months on end that keep you away from your support group(friends/family)
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replied October 17th, 2011
I agree with Weepy, try taking the medication. Taking medication doesn't mean you're weak. Depression is a real illness. You wouldn't tell someone with the flu not to take meds because they're weak. People need to realize that mental health is important and needs to be taken seriously. There is a military mindset that asking for help=weakness sometimes, but it isn't true. It takes courage to join the USMC and courage to admit you need help when it becomes too much on your own.
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